


March

by JDBeckett



Series: 365 Prompts [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 42,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3723085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JDBeckett/pseuds/JDBeckett





	1. Candle

It has been a quiet, cozy day in the middle of November. Both Quentin and I seem to have settled into sleeping mostly at night lately. It's a strange change. I'm not sure if it's because of the time we spend with Eoghan and Alexis but I assume that that is what it is. I don't mind so much. There's not that much to witness at night in the winter really.

We spent the better part of the day just talking and playing games, this game and that one, all four of us. Monopoly however is banned from this house, Quentin never managed to understand how it was played. Areli and Lavi have made little pests of themselves for a while before they were off to their room to more than likely nap in the comfort of the indoor heat of the sun.

  


The sun is done setting and we're all mock-camped out around the fireplace, on the other side of the room the television is on a Baroque channel and out of it pours sweet, quiet classical music. Suddenly, however, everything goes dark and silent without so much as a warning. The only light we have is that of the slow burning fire and I find myself almost dumbfounded before it catches up to me. The electricity is out. 

By the time I seem to have understood that and I'm moving to my feet to get us some candles to at least light the way around the house, Alexis is on his feet and looking for his coat. He's mumbling something about Adela and the generator. I look out the window and, of course, everything is dark, even the rare street light that tend to show the way. It means that heat, in most cases, is not going to be running. We heat the house through electricity like most everyone else here so we're out of that but the fire is warm and we can keep it going all night as need be. Hopefully before morning the electricity will be back.

Alexis is out of the door after a few moments and Eoghan explains that Adela, his snake, needs heat and he has a generator just for that purpose. Usually it starts on its own but it's not always the case so he prefers to check on it to make sure it's full and will keep on running to keep at least that one room hot. I don't know if he'll come back or not, I hope he does. Yes, I can understand the worry for a loved pet but it's not worth freezing over if they have a source of heat that'll keep them cozy and you don't.

Quentin comes back with several candles (and some swearing as he hits a few bits of furniture on the way). I can't help but laugh lightly. "I guess we should keep a pocket light here on hand just in case. I'm surprised we don't have a generator set up now that I think about it."

I guess that since we never had to deal with a black out of the sort before, especially not in the colder autumn months before winter really starts to set in, might explain that. I think it'll be rectified before too long. Though it may have to wait until spring when the weather makes it possible to install without too many issues.

  


We light candles in most places where they'll be safe from the cats should they decide to run about and we just settle back in front of the fire for the time being. Almost an hour passes before Alexis is knocking on the door and letting himself back in. He'll need plenty of time in front of the fire. I can't imagine that their apartment went that cold that fast but still. He looks at peace so I have to tell myself that he's managed more than well to get Adela set up with her own heat for a good few hours.

I take his coat and hang it up before I'm wandering to the kitchen to heat up some water. The good part about life in this warehouse at this point is that we're working with natural gas for the kitchen and the bathrooms, so cooking things is still a breeze. I set some water up to get a few cups of teas going and I can see a blanket being handed off to our newly returned friend. At least he'll warm up quickly.

I guess I just know my way around the cupboards, even in this almost dark. I have a single candle to help me with things and I've kept it on the counter so I know where I've set my cups. I bring out a few different types of teas and I set up a tray with everything, the cups with the hot water, the tea, some sugar for those who might like something a bit sweeter to drink and I head back towards the fireplace where I set everything down on the low table.

"The cups are bound to be really hot so try not to burn yourselves, I don't know that I might manage to find my way to the bathroom where we keep the first aid kit." It's a quiet joke more than anything else since the lot of us do heal faster than mortals do. It's not an instant sort of healing but it is rather fast paced so it's nice to have as a little 'plus' to our gifts.

We fall to silence as we all settle with a cup. Quentin and Eoghan both ruin their teas with sugar but that's just the way I see it. If they like sweet it's more than fine by me.

  


We spend the whole night just talking, sipping at tea and nibbling on crackers. By the time the sun begins to shine lightly in the distance, the hum of things coming back to life makes itself known. The lights flicker on, the heater kicks in, the fans on the ceiling start up again to better distribute the heat as it rises. It looks like we have our electricity back. Most of the candles are on the verge of being completely burned through and I let them. They all have a faint but pleasant smell to them and the whole house is just delicately scented.

Alexis and Eoghan both move to their feet to gather their coats to head back across. I don't blame them. We've all been awake for a long enough time. I saw Eoghan nod off a little against Alexis's shoulder but I doubt he's gotten much rest this way. We bid them a good day and good rest before cleaning up the mock-mess we've left on our night out in front of the fireplace. 

The fire is almost through so Quentin leaves it be, just making sure the panel in front of it is secure. I clean up the teacups and the rest and he blows out the few slight candles that still have some burning time to them. We put everything away and just briefly we head to our own bedrooms.

We change into our bed time clothes, we wash up a little and we meet back up in his room. He tends to keep it warmer than mine and even after all this time without heat, his still is more comfortable than mine. We waste little time on deciding who sleeps on which side before we're crawling into that bed, socks on for the time being as it still isn't all that heated up yet and we nestle. I think we deserve this sleep, after all.


	2. In a Catalogue

This is our second holiday season spent together but out first time celebrating it. Well, somewhat celebrating it. Neither one of us really understands the point of this celebration. People give each other gifts, they decorate and they eat more food than usual. Some talk about their saviour or something or other but I don't give it much thought.

Eoghan said that most of Christmas, to Christians, the folks who talk about a saviour, is about celebrating his birth or some other random weirdness. Well, if they want to believe that someone out there some two thousand something years ago was born to save them, more power to them. Alexis says it didn't happen. He was around at that time.

So Yael and me, we've been looking through catalogues, pointing out what we think could be interesting, what kind of decoration we could set up. We both know I could do up most of these decorations myself but that might just be absolutely exhausting and I'm not sure that's such a good option at this point. Not like it'll be that expensive. We found a beautiful tree. At first we were thinking of just decorating the huge pine outside but we realized that with the wind we get in that area of the yard most decorations might not make it through the decorating season.

Instead we found this nice and big one, all fluffy and deep green. It has something like fibre optics at the end of its branches and once plugged in, it's gorgeous. With Yael's eyes for set ups and decoration, we put in some dangles and some ribbons and stuff that won't break easily because we have ourselves two cats who love climbing into it. We set heavy weights on its base so it won't topple over. Only Areli has made it nearly all the way to the top and we were amused by that a lot more than we should have, I know.

  


Gifts are something else altogether and we're not sure how to go about this. Eoghan has brought up that we've had a lot of chances to exchange gifts to this day since our meeting and we haven't. Birthdays and Valentine's day, for one. I don't remember when I was born, I don't think Yael knows either. I don't even remember the month or the year exactly. I guess we'll both pick up a date at random and that'll be our day. Valentines is for lovers and this is recent so I guess this year we might see about that.

We both have all we need as far as we're concerned, I guess it's why we're looking through catalogues to try and see if we can't find something, anything that might catch our eyes. I know Yael has recently developed a love for antiques so we might go to that boutique he's liked so well lately and I might just buy what I see catch his eye the most. When he's not with me, of course. That is the point of gifts is to keep them secret until it is time to give them away.

I think I would like books myself, I've mentioned it a few times. Old classics are always nice and they're a fun read. You don't really get tired of them.

  


We've been done with the gift Alexis has prepared for Eoghan for a little while but it still here. Alexis said something about how Eoghan was good at finding hidden things and that it was safer to keep it here in our house until the time was right. He did bring it back to his place when we were done, wrapped it up and brought it back to us for safe keeping. So we're keeping it safe until it's Christmas. I don't know if he'll want it for Christmas Eve or morning. We still aren't sure if we're supposed to open presents then or in the morning. It doesn't really matter. To us, so long as we're together, it's the best present of all. So we might just open them on the morning of.

For now we've mostly just been decorating a little here and there. Simple things that can't really be batted away or eaten by curious cats. At times they're such a handful that I'm not sure what to do with them but most of the time we fling them a bouncy toy and they chase it and amuse themselves into exhaustion, so it's not that much of an issue. With decorating though, it's different. I guess it's because we're doing something they're not used to and they're curious. They want to help in their own way. I can't blame them for that, even if I've found myself almost tripping on their tails now and again. I've yet to step on them yet.

  


One of the catalogues we have, courtesy of Eoghan, is something with adult toys. I know Yael has a couple but when he looked at the whole thing, page after page, he went such a deep shade of red that I thought he might pass out. It was something to watch him grow redder by the page. I think he might have more knowledge of these things than he's been letting on. I'm not going to pry but I admit that I am a little curious to know what kind of toys he might have experimented with before. I mean, we're still not up or ready for full on sex but a little bit of discovery with toys might just be interesting.

A section in that book is solely for lacy, racy stuff. I don't know, it doesn't look at that interesting but I guess most of it is for women. Teddies that don't cover much and underwear that leaves everything open to the world, I wonder about their use if they don't do what they're supposed to be for. There are some boxers, most of them with a decorative 'nose'. You put your self in there and instead of being comfortably 'behind walls' you're dangling in something that makes you look like an elephant's trunk or a snake. I fail to see the point to it.

Sadly, as per Yael's wishes, that catalogue is going to end up being fireplace food. He doesn't want to look much longer at it. I'll have to take it slow in asking him about what he keeps in that chest under his bed. I know what is in it but I've never seen its contents. I don't blame him for hiding something like that way but it's not really such a bad thing, it's not a hideous sort of habit. Everyone has needs, I just didn't know how to deal with mine until he sat me down and told me about it, explained it to me.

Pleasure is natural in the world and everyone has their own way of dealing with it or handling it. I'm just curious to know how he takes care of himself, is all. Maybe after the new year, start the year on a new, more-trust step. If that's trusting more or me just being nosy, that is. I can't help it, I just want to know everything about him. I want to make sure I never do anything to upset him ever again.

I want to be the best I can for him.


	3. Tie-Dye

"That's... very colourful, thank you Quentin." The shit-eating grin on the little bastard's face was enough to make me want to shake him but considering he had actually made that blanket from beginning to end must have required a lot of work out of him. Plus it's not so bad looking. Tie-dye just isn't usually my thing but this deep green and blue thing isn't so bad. It's actually sort of nice. Even Lex is looking somewhat impressed over the whole thing.

Christmas morning, They invited us over to open presents. We usually open ours in the morning as well so it was a plus, if we'd opened them last night I'm not sure it would have been quite the same. Lex said they might invite us too so we waited for that call and it did come, it's their first time celebrating after all, it makes sense to want to invite us over.

Surprisingly enough, we have ourselves a white Christmas. I can't recall when I last had one of those myself. I mean past the few years I've been living in Dunkerque I was living down south where the weather never really dropped beyond what I considered a comfortable warmth though others wandered around in light coats. I suppose it does explain why I nearly got sick when we went on that treasure hunt. I was under-dressed for the weather. I learned my lesson.

Yael has several prettily bound books for Quentin, old things, they look almost like first edition and I wonder where he's got them from. They must have cost a little fortune. He handles them with such care. I wasn't sure Quentin would have liked them at all but his eyes lit up like I'd never seen before. I've known him longer than Yael but I guess I don't know him that well in the end. Not such a bad thing, leave it to his boyfriend to get him the gifts he really want.

There are bits and pieces of art supply from every one of us to Yael and he looks pleased as can be, not a very surprising thing. Quentin motions towards an old antique desk that is sitting next to the tree with a cloth bow just resting on top and mentions that this gift had to be given before this morning since it was hard enough to wrap it. So it had been given when it had been received. It's a beautiful old piece. It might need a small bit of work but not that much. Yael looks plenty pleased with it. They catch on quickly to this gift giving this.

Lex has been asking to give me his gift last and it leaves me wondering. Usually we just give each other little gag gifts though I guess not so much when we're reunited for our first holidays together after so many years apart. I found an old book on the art of chocolate. I'm pretty sure he'd already seen it or even read it but he looked genuinely surprised and touched by it so I guess I did rather well.

  


A few more gifts are handed left and right, small things before finally everything has been handed over but whatever Lex has in store for me. So I turn to him, curious and he holds out a box that looks like it could house a few layered t-shirt and I have to blink. Is this really it? So long as it's not more tie-dye, though it is mostly fine looking tie-dye.

So I open the box and my breath catches a little. These are shirts like I've never seen anywhere before and I don't know where he might have gotten them. I sneak on look to the other couple just looking at me with more interest than that of knowing what the gift is and I suppose I can put two and two together. These are going to be one of a kind. Still they're just shirts though.

I put the box down and I pull out one shirt, then another. Five in all before I find a scarf. It feels so absolutely soft between my fingers that I don't know what to say. It's what I find under that scarf however that makes me really catch my breath. I'm not sure the materials on those but it doesn't matter. A bracelet that fits just perfectly on my wrist with stones embedded on it at intervals, those are the colour of my eyes. A necklace that seems to be made in the same way. Masculine but with just a hint of something to it. There is a somewhat bigger stone at the center of it but not enough to make it too feminine for me.

I feel my eyes begin to grow wet and I have to screw them shut to keep myself from crying. This is purely beautiful and I feel so happy. He enfolds me in his arms, holding me tightly. His lips next to my ear murmur words of love and adoration. They are words I have heard before but they mean so much more to me in that very instant.

There is a need to have him take me utterly there and then but I manage to rein that down. I don't know that our hosts would appreciate it though it might be a learning experience. I laugh, an almost shaky sort of sound but I am filled to the brim with happiness. Lex kisses the tears from my cheeks and shifts to sit back down and he holds me to his lap. This is perfect as it is.

"This is absolutely beautiful and perfect, thank you guys. I can tell they're unique and there's never going to be anyone else in the world who will have something like this." I feel appreciated, I feel loved. I feel like this friendship we all four have, beneath the love we share in pair, has just taken a leap forward. Whatever binds us together is even stronger now.

  


We spend a few hours discussing gifts and having a light breakfast of fruits and cereals. When noon comes about, we bid each other a happy Christmas and say we'll more than likely be getting together for the new year. This is something else they're not used to so Lex has offered to take us all out onto the water to see the fireworks they'll be setting off at midnight. Given the water hasn't frozen over and it hasn't. It never does. It gets cold enough for a small bit of snow but not cold enough for frozen water, let alone for it to be an issue for his yacht.

It will be a wonderful sort of evening and I'm impatient to get to that point though right now I'm more impatient with the idea of getting back home where I can show Lex how I really absolutely feel about this gift he has given me. I think the rest of our day is going to be spent in the bedroom and there's going to be not getting us out of there unless it's an emergency. This is just one of these days and this is how I want to celebrate the beauty of the gifts he's given me.

  


The tie-dye blanket I set down on the couch as we step inside. We can use it to keep warm when we're there watching television in the evenings or afternoons or whenever. It looks pretty cool where it's at.

When he has his coat off and boots off, I don't even give him a chance to utter anything. I just take his hand and walk him towards our bedroom. This is the best gift of all and we both know this.


	4. Neighbours

I try to make it my duty to check on how things are going with the construction and the work to fix up the warehouse into livable quarters. That and at times I find homeless folks who decided that it would make for a good temporary roof. Usually I don't mind, the homeless folks just settle in one area and while they usually only leave a slight mess, it's easy to clean up. I really need to work with the construction crew to have them set up fencing all around though. This place is going to be dangerous to walk around without a hard hat on by the time spring comes. Still a couple of months but safety is important.

The last person I found squatting inside wasn't so much homeless as a runaway teenager and he had tagged the whole of the walls with ugly things. I should have found it funny in a way. That is how Quentin and Yael ended up together but this is my soon to be home, I don't want the freshly installed walls to be defaced this way. So I kicked him out and I actually drove him back to his parents. They were thankful and he was pissed. The day following that I called in the crew for a brief time in and they set up a perimeter around the place that should keep everyone out but I still feel the need to check every couple of weeks, just to be sure.

I don't really expecting to find anything inside today, it takes the key to be able to open the way into the working grounds. So when I come up to the gates with the key in hand but find that the lock is off, I look around and I find it. It's warm in my hand which is a bit strange considering the current weather. It looks like it was burned open. That doesn't make sense unless someone had a blowtorch in hand and I can't imagine anyone would be that desperate to get into the place.

I slip inside, close the gate best I can and I find my phone. I could just walk back across to talk to Eoghan but I'm here and I need to find out who managed to find his or her way inside. The phone rings once, twice before he answers, somewhat out of breath and I can't help but snicker just slightly. I know what he was doing. My number on his phone has a distinctive ring and if it hadn't been for that he wouldn't have answered.

"I think we have folks who made it into the grounds. Can you find that double of the lock the construction crew gave us and bring it over when you have a moment? I'm going to be looking in to see who I find." He sounds a little baffled as he agrees to finding the lock and we hang up. I should take him about fifteen minutes at most to get dressed, find the lock and join me so I just walk to the building and I step inside.

It's clear inside for the time being because it's clear out. There is no electricity anywhere yet. Only the bottom most wall all around the building has been done over, it has windows everywhere so there's ways for the light to poor in. 

  


I stay quiet for a long while, just listening, trying to see where these intruders might just be. The staircases leading to the upper floors aren't safe and said floors can only be reached from the outside currently so I know they have to be here on the ground floor. I listen again and there I finally hear it, the soft crackle of fire. I know there are a few trash bins around the place and that fire can be started in but what frightens me is that a single wrong move could burn this whole place down.

I move towards the sound, trying to be as quiet as I can be. What I do find baffles me. I don't know if I was expecting to find an old man with rags for clothes or something but that wasn't it. No, standing near a small burning fire in one of the trash bins is a pair of young teenagers and a slightly older woman. I don't need Eoghan with me to know they're gifted. One of the boys, his hair is half black half red, split almost perfectly so down the middle, is holding onto a small piece of wood and it catches fire in his hand. It doesn't burn him so I know at least that this is his gift. I don't know if the other two are gifted but that he is makes him a good candidate for my help if he needs it. His gift also explains the lock.

"Hey, you guys are trespassing here. Now don't run off, I won't call the cops, I have no reason to, but this is my property." The two boys look ready to bolt and run but the woman stands her ground. She utters a few words in a language I'm not overly familiar with and the second boy, his hair seems to match the one with fire but it's blue, split in the middle. He douses the fire with water and that makes two out of three. I can't help but laugh and I laugh a little harder at the woman's startled look.

"I have to assume you use this trick to usually frighten most folks. That won't work on me, I'm gifted too and I sort of make it one of my few priorities to protect people like me since I know how poorly we're usually treated by the world at large." I see her shoulder sag a little but she shivers and I finally notice that none of them are really dressed for the weather. I step closer but I still stop a step away.

  


"Lex?" He calls out from a small distance and I call him back my way. Well, our way and when he stops at my side he cants his head. I smile at him just lightly. The twins, their names are Agni and Mira, are huddling a little together but they did get the fire going again, it's small and controlled. Zora, their older sister, still looks a little uncertain and doubly so at Eoghan's presence. I don't blame her, if she's been protecting them since they were toddlers.

"Isn't the apartment on the east side of the building empty? The one with the two bedrooms? I'm aware three would better but we don't have any that aren't in use at this point." He looks at me with his head canted and I briefly explain what I learned from the trio while I was waiting for him to join me.

He looks them over and his lips quirk slightly. He can better pinpoint their gifts as they truly are, I suppose having him at my side in a permanent way, even if I didn't love him, is a plus for me. "Well this place isn't ready yet, otherwise I think they could have one of the apartments here once they're ready-"

"We can't afford any rent-" she cuts him of but I shake my head and chuckle again. 

"This is something we do for the rare gifted ones we see, especially the ones who need it. Don't worry about it."

"But I do think that yes, the apartment on the east side of the building is currently empty of tenants though it is fully furnished. How about you guys come with us and we'll see about getting a roof over your heads? We have a friend who has more fruits and vegetables than he knows what to do with and that will just leave you with getting some meat." Eoghan is like that, he's just giving and giving.

I smile at them again as the twins ease closer slightly, uncertain but willing to be warm. As they step away from the fire it dies out and finally Zora steps forward too though she looks unconvinced. "We won't harm you. We're just offering you a roof and some warmth to be had. This place, we're having it fixed up. We'll have a few apartments on the first and second floor and we'll be taking the third floor to ourselves. So once that's ready and if you guys still need a more permanent roof, you can settle in with us. We'll never ask for anything but maybe a little help now and again."

  


It's that simple, it just is how we work. Those twins stand out though, I don't know why I've never seen them before. I suppose she keeps them well hidden. We cross back out of the construction zone, I lock it back up and I have to congratulate Agni on how well he controls his gift. He blushes brightly and I have to grin when Mira clings to his arm and huffs at me. Overprotective little bugger, it's adorable.

We step into our building and Eoghan takes over to showing them the apartment. It's not too big, just comfortable. It has electricity, heat and water. The furniture is simple but comfortable. Two beds in one room and one in the second. It has towels and sheets and all the rest. The old tenant actually died and no one ever came to get the belongings back. So we had everything watched and cleaned and tada, fully furnished apartment that we never really rented to that point.

Our first good action of the year. I think we're on a good path just now.


	5. Cold Day

I'm pretty sure this is the coldest day we've had since winter began to settle properly. With its small bits of snow and its heavy humidity because of the water not that far away. It makes me rather glad that these three Alexis found on our property where the warehouse is being renovated are now cozy and warm a couple of floors beneath us. I don't think Zora really trusts us but I suppose if she's seen some horrors what with having had to take care of her brothers on her own since they were toddlers, I don't much blame her.

Agni and Mira are more trusting, a little. They're curious. Like little kittens that get into everything and everywhere. It's sort of fun to watch honestly. When I dropped them off in the apartment that was to be theirs until the warehouse was ready, they went everywhere, looked at everything. I left, got the key and handed it to Zora. I told her that if she had any need for copies for her brothers I wouldn't have any issues getting those for her.

She just sort of slammed the door on my face and I let it be. One of the tenants called about an hour ago because the twins were knocking at his door and he didn't know who they were supposed to be with or where they belonged. So I went downstairs and I walked them back up to mine and Lex's apartment. The doors they don't have access to are locked and secure and I don't much mind if they touch most everything else currently.

Lex finds them adorable. He won't say it but it's in his eyes. The way he looks at them, there's fondness in there and I think that if they hadn't been with their sister—I honestly think she's a bit older than me—he might very well have taken them in. They don't talk much but their eyes speak volumes about how they're feeling. I've tried to explain to them that this is the one apartment they can come knocking to, that it's safe but I don't know if it got across. I'll just have to wait and see.

  


At this point, they're settled side by side, under that ever brand new but absolutely warm blanket Quentin made me for Christmas. They both have a cup of chocolate on hand and they're taking careful little sips of it. I guess they might never have had any before. That's why I made it a little less sweet and more natural. Not everyone likes sweet things. Mira sips from it and I see him smile to himself and to his brother but Agni is staring at his cup as if it was missing something from it.

I think for a moment and I suppose the idea comes from trying to be too predictable. What if, somehow because of his fire gift, he likes things a little hotter? So to speak. I wander off in search of that spice Yael brought to us last time, we have barely used any it's so spicy. I bring it over and hold it out to him. He keeps his nose a certain distance from it and he breathes in the scent. His eyes shift just slightly and I'm thinking I can take the hint. I take just barely a sprinkle of the spice and I drop it into his chocolate. I take his spoon carefully and stir it in before I wander back towards the kitchen to drop the spices off.

He's not looking like the chocolate will bite him now, it's a good thing. They're still both just sipping slowly, carefully but it's nice to know they're warming up. I don't know where they're from, I can't begin to guess and I don't know that I want to poke into their head yet. I've been in the head of a fire demon before and I was burned, just about literally. He didn't appreciate my presence and let me know. If I try with Mira, I might chance drowning. I don't know which is worse.

When they're done with their cups, I take them to rinse them in the kitchen before I'm back in the living room, kneeling slightly in front of them. I match motion and words in hoping to get my message across. I rest a finger lightly against my temple. "I want to see if we can't talk in our minds, we might better understand this way."

Languages are not so much a barrier in the mind, it's just one of those things. Maybe they don't talk French or English really. I know a few others but their names and the looks of them screams India which I have no knowledge of the language. I hold both my hands out, palms up towards them. Agni looks at it with some distrust but Mira's eyes are warm and open and he puts his hand into mine without an issue. I can see it one, Agni out to protect his brother from the world because he's too trusting.

I curl my fingers about Mira's hand gently and I feel something click between us, an easy connection. They're already holding hands so I can somewhat feel Agni but it's a faded thing. After a moment, he sighs, grumbles but sets his hand to mine. I smile warmly at him as I curl my fingers and pull them both carefully into a mindscape. I've never done it with twins but it comes more easily than I had first thought.

  


I can hear a waterfall in the distance, the crackle of a fire. The sky is dark and I have to assume it's night. This is so strange. "I mean neither one of you any harm."

Those words are as true as my name is Eoghan and I'm gifted with more things than I can really explain. Mira suddenly latches onto me with a bright laugh and Agni keeps a step back. I chuckle softly and I hug the slight young man to my side. He's so tiny. They both are, tiny and slight.

"I swear, Agni. I only want to make sure you're both healthy and safe and that we might have a better understanding of one another." He grudgingly looks towards his brother who still is clinging to me, his head to my chest and he sighs before nodding. I motion for him to lead us where ever it might be he wants to go. This is their mind I'm wandering, after all.

We walk for a while, Mira's hand in mine and he's holding onto it very securely, I had expected Agni to be at his other side but no, instead he's at my other side and his hand brushes mine briefly, barely. Like he wants to but doesn't trust me enough. I don't mind. We stop by a lake, its water is as clear as can be. There is a waterfall feeding it with an almost deafening roar but it's not too loud from where we stand. Within a circle of rocks, a low fire burns. I expected that, all things considered.

I sit down on the white sand and I have to laugh when Mira rushes off towards the water. He's absolutely sweet. Agni sits down by my side finally and I offer him my hand to study if he wants to. He takes it after a moment but he only hangs onto it. Something warms in me.

"So you're gifted with fire and I can imagine you've found yourself burned a few times. Mira seems to be water. Is your sister gifted too?" He looks at our linked hands, as if he was now really studying them before he nods and sighs.

"Wind. She says, time and again, that our parents were human, mortals, ungifted... but would ungifted people really be able to birth us?" I have to say I don't honestly know. I've heard stories of half-breed, human and demon together or human and angel but the details are vague. With my free hand, brush my fingers along his hair, curious more than anything else.

He smiles just faintly at me and looks back towards the water where Mira is splashing about, though after a few minutes, he's running back out of the water and coming our way. I expect him to sit own in front of my or at my side but no, he flops on my lap and I can't help the amused laugh. He's absolutely adorable.

"There is a lot of knowledge that gets lost over passing years. I could try to dig deeper into both of your minds but that might be for later, when we're more open with one another." Mira hugs me and I snicker softly. He's plenty open and I can tell Agni does want to trust me, so it's a good sort of thing. 

It's also a good thing that physical things in the mindscape don't transfer to the real world as I'd be absolutely soaked by now. "Now, if you two ever need anything or if you ever want to talk to someone, I'm usually always in my apartment. The other people in the building shouldn't really be bothered, they won't understand. In a few months, the building where we found you guys will be finished up, at least in a basic sort of way and we can all sit down and decide how you and your sister would want it to look."

I take a moment to tell them the way Lex and I had planned things, how we want the first two floors to be housing for gifted folks who need a roof. Those who can afford their own homes and manage to hide their gifts from the world aren't an issue, but young souls like these two and their sister are different.

  


Eventually, I pull them back out of the mindscape and as I release their hands, Mira moves to flop onto my lap, his arms about my shoulders and he just hugs me. I chuckle softly and hug him back. I turn my gaze to Agni who cants his head, seems to ponder the safety of such a motion before he's settling into my second arm and we just pile into a hug for a few moments. I'd forgotten what it's like to be around younger kids. Quentin and Yael are closer to my age than these two.

"Alright, I should walk you two back to your sister so she doesn't much wonder where you've been, I don't think she trusts me much." Agni is the one to touch my temple this time and I nod. He can think at me if he wants, I can decipher those easily enough.

' _She doesn't trust anyone. Thinks the whole world is out to get us._ ' It's a bit of a sad way to think about things but I don't blame her for that. If she's had a rough life, it's all there is to that.

  


As I knock on her door to drop the twins off, she opens it and glares at me as if I'd kidnapped them myself. Mira is the one to huff at her this time but he latches onto her hand and he starts talking in that language they have in common. Her frown lessens but doesn't leave her face altogether. She nods at me somewhat. "I told them that they're welcome to come up to mine and Lex's apartment if they want to, I don't mind. This way at least you'll know where they might just be."

I just smile and I muss both of the boys' hair before I turn on my way and head back. We found them just in time, I'd like to think.


	6. Favourite

He called before coming and I'm grateful for that. He explained about how Lex had found them trying to stay warm in the warehouse as it was and that it was more than likely they would be living on the first or second floor of the building once it was in good enough condition to see about folks moving in. He said something about the twins being gifted like all of us, that their sister has some (understandable) trust issues and that they liked swimming. So he asked if he could come with them for them to swim in the pool.

I don't really see the issue with that. The pool is large, it's warm and comfortable. As he told me though, I locked any door I didn't really want them wandering through. That mostly being the door leading to the garden on the second floor, just for now and the door to Yael's studio and the bedrooms. He's not been feeling so well so he's resting in his room right now with a bit of quiet music playing. I relayed that information to Eoghan and he said he'd tell the twins to be quiet as possible before they were in the pool.

  


They're different, that much I can see easily. Eoghan says he invited their sister, Zora I think, to join us in the pool but she declined. At least I guess that means she trusts him with her brothers. They're full of energy. The one with the half-head of blue hair jumped right in without even waiting to change out of his clothes and I honestly had to laugh. One of them is Agni and the other is Mira, I'm not sure which is which right now but I don't think anyone minds.

  


Lex is busy working on a big commission so he needs quiet, it's one of those reasons Eoghan asked if he could come over. I don't mind. They swim, he keeps an eye on them and swims a bit too and I'm settled by the edge of the wall, on one of the comfortable lounging chair with my new favourite book. Well my favourite for now. I much prefer reading through the old first editions Yael bought me for Christmas but a little bird told me that one of these two balls of energy has a very affectionate streak to his soul and I don't really want to chance getting the older books wet. So instead I have one of my newer one, a newer edition of the ones Yael got me. 

So in the end, still my favourite.

  


The one with the half-head of red hair isn't as agile in the water as his brother. He keeps to the slightly shallower end though he looks to be having as much fun. They swim much better than Yael and I can at this point so I feel safer in staying where I am. Eoghan seems to be a bit of a fish and I admit I feel a bit of longing. I wish I could swim that well but I know that it will come, we just need to keep on practising.

The moment I'm turning my attention back to my book however, something catches my eye and I bookmark my page, turning my gaze to fully focus on the water. I see something swimming at the surface, something clear and... I'm not sure what to call it, I suppose it could be a water tentacle. I have to study the twins a moment and when the red haired one gets half-dragged away from the edge and to the deeper end, though still not far enough to lose footing, I assume that his brother is controlling that, whatever that was. Now I'm even more glad to be out of the water. 

Eoghan laughs and he laughs hard as the red haired boy sputters slightly and paddles somewhat back to the edge. His brother is giggling away as well. At least they're all having fun. 

"Are you alright Agni?" Eoghan checks him over briefly to make sure he's alright and I try to put the name to memory. Agni is the one with the red hair, that means the playful blue-haired brother is Mira. I know they'll stick but for now I suppose I'm distracted enough. I know we all have gifts here, we're all different but it still is so strange to learn that these gifts are different depending on the person, that different things can be made with different gifts.

"No water tentacles, Mira. We play fair or we get out of the pool." Mira whines and pouts but he seems to give in and nod. They seem to really trust Eoghan, I guess it's a good thing, specially if their sister doesn't trust him and Lex. They're just looking out for those who are like us. Those who might be frowned upon by society. Looked down upon and treated badly.

They're so young but they seem to be so trusting of the world that surroundings them. Though that may just be because they're together and because there's just me they don't know in the room. I have to assume that Eoghan told them something or other about me in the end but I won't pry. I honestly just want to settle back and read my book while they're enjoying the water. I could read just about anywhere but this is a good spot and their laughter is warming.

  


Before too long however, the twins are side by side, dozing I'd have to imagine, on the floating mattress Yael and I use for that very reason. I have to smile at them just settled so comfortably together. Eoghan is sitting in a chair next to mine and he's just chuckling softly, a sort of pleased smile to his lips. It's nice to feel useful in this way, even though in a way it wasn't so much me as it was the pool. Still, it's my pool.

"I appreciate you letting us use the pool, Quentin. I know these two love to swim though Agni is a bit hesitant in the deeper water but it does them good and it builds trust in a way nothing else really can." I shrug and I just smile before I finally turn my gaze back towards the book.

The door to the pool room eases open slightly and there comes Yael, sleepy-eyed and wrapped up in a blanket. He smiles at the scene in front of him and then smiles our way. "I thought I'd heard a bit of noise—no it didn't wake me—so I thought I had a look. You guys will have to tell me about these two at some point, for now I'm just sort of warming up some water for tea. Alexis it out in the living room with me, he said something about how he's done with his work for now and he wanted to see how everyone was doing. I'll send him down this way before I head back to my room. You guys have fun.

  


And he does send Alexis our way before heading back to his room. I let him in and tell them to have some fun, that I'll be with Yael for a while just to be sure he's resting well and comfortably. I motion to the towels and the rest and I excuse myself. If I had to have just one favourite, be it book, food, or anything in my life, my choice would be simple as can be.

Yael is my favourite and he'll always be, no matter what.


	7. Tea Cup

"Is there nothing you can't art into beauty?" He's still not used to compliments, he blushes though it's subtle but it's present and I can appreciate this like I can appreciate old, fine wine. I'm not out to make him blush, I'm not out for anything, really. I just came and visited while Eoghan is busy with the twins. They really do seem to adore him in that big brother sort of way. If I was insecure in any way about how he loves me and how I love him, I would worry that he's spending too much time with them but I haven't been with him for this long without understanding a lot of things.

I lift the slight, delicate tea cup up to my eyes again and I take in the detail of what he's added to it. It was just an old, faded thing when I first saw it months ago. I assume he had found it in a thrift shop like most of what he owned up to living with Quentin. I think it's one of the only things he still really has from when he was on the street, beyond his clothes. It still is cracked where it was the first time he used it to serve me tea but it's no longer so faded that I can't tell what the original design on it was.

"This is honestly beautiful, Yael, you could probably get into the antique world and give new life to old things." He blushes again though this time it is accompanied by a slight shrug of his shoulder. I don't think he really knows what he's out to do with his life. It's not like there's any rush to it.

I hand him the cup again and he smiles at it, holding it as if it was as delicate as a spring flower. "I like drawing fashion things and I like it when Quentin helps me create them. Though he mostly creates the material and I set it up on the mannequin, we've done that for a couple of outfits I drew up. Though it's nice to take old bits and pieces and give them new life again, it's sort of soothing in a focused way."

  


"How are you adapting to the idea of the twins and their sister?" He's quiet for a moment and I'm not sure if it's because I said something I shouldn't have—I can't imagine I have—or if it's something he's just given a lot of thought to, before. He shrugs and offers me one of his somewhat uncertain, I'm-not-really-sure smiles. "I think I've seen them before, while I was on the street. Her mostly, her brothers are too young and I guess they might have changed to this day but she looks familiar."

I know he has a way with faces, it's rare that he forgets someone he's seen before, even if it's just a glimpse. I suppose it's why he gets nightmares so easily when he sees something disturbing, like the death of that guy back then. I feel bad for him. It might be a side effect of his gift. No gift comes without strings attached. Mine could have led me to insanity if I had let it. Eoghan's own could be seen as schizophrenia and he could eventually lose it too. Quentin's gift for weaving—as he controls it now and not as it could truly be—is mostly string-free, no pun. He mostly just gets worn out if he does too much.

"But they're nice and they're full of energy, the twins at least are that way. I've only seen Zora once and that was when I guess she lost patience in waiting for the return of her brother and she came up to your apartment when I was dropping off the fruits." Something he does on a weekly basis though at times he even comes by twice a week. One with fruits and the other with vegetables.

I nod and I laugh a little, I can't help it. "She does have this air about her, I know what you're trying to get at. I don't think she really trusts any of us at this point. She's protecting her brothers from the evils of the world and she thinks that even though we've currently set her up with a roof and food free of charge, we'll take it all away without warning and kick her back out. It will take time but I think that eventually, we'll manage to win her over. The twins say they want to be on the second floor and not on the first, so they have less distance to cross to get to the pool."

He gives me a slightly puzzled look and I have to laugh again. "Mira adores being in the water and I don't blame him. Agni seems to honestly really like the water too and we're working on setting up a pool on the roof with a greenhouse type setup above it, a solarium I guess mostly, so it can be used year round. The more time they spend with us in the apartment and trust me they spend a lot of time up with us though they know to leave us alone, the more they learn about the plans we have for the building."

It's honestly wonderful to see their eyes light up when Eoghan shows them something new on the design. They still don't really speak English or French, we speak both around them and they're picking up on the words here and there. Living in this city all of their lives I would have thought that they would have learned French at the very least but they haven't. They talk mostly Hindi, I guess it's the only language Zora saw fit to teaching them though she's cut them off from the rest of the city who speaks predominantly French after all, this _is_ France.

  


When I step back into my shared apartment with Eoghan, it is with a boxed tea cup set in hand. Not the one he showed me, that old one he had with him when he move in with Quentin, no, it's one set, he told me, he got from the antique store and fixed up. Polished them, painted them, made sure the paint would stay and all the rest. They're honestly beautiful and I'm really touched. All these little things he does now and again for seemingly no other reasons than he can, it's wonderful.

By the quietness of the apartment, I know that the twins are back down with their sister, probably getting an earful about how they shouldn't be spending so much time with people they don't know and people they shouldn't trust. She sees evil everywhere but they don't. Who knows, they might be able to convince her that we're not all mean and dangerous. It would be a step forward.

I set the cups down on the counter with its note still taped to it and I first go check on Adela. I usually don't need to check on her often though I do so daily. She's just one of those small parts of my life that I cherish for all I am. I will be more than a little sad when she goes though she still has quite a few years ahead of her.

I pass by the bedroom and Eoghan is flopped on the bed, absolutely naked. I stall by the door but make myself move on. First Adele, then I'll see about spending some private one on one time with my lover. It feels like forever since we've been alone. I don't mind, the twins need to learn about the world in a wider sort of way but I do want some private time at least every day and up to now Eoghan has been too tired of his time spent with them for that. I'll just have to rectify that.


	8. Royalty

"Why am I wearing a crown?" I turn and smile at him, eyes bright and amused. I reach out and brush my fingers over his cheek lightly. He's been posing for me for the past hour or so while I was getting this quick sketch down. He's wearing olden clothes, I've added in the way I can't help but see his gift-marker, a long, thin tail coiled slightly and yes, I've put a crown on his head.

"Because, to me, you're royalty and royals wear crowns. Not always, I know but for this mock portrait of what I think you would have been like in a world where humans aren't afraid and stuff, I've put you in a crown." He looks absolutely pleased. When I clean it up and add the colours, I might even put in those slight streaks he keeps to his hair though they're usually hidden beneath the half-scarf half-ribbon he wears as a sort of headband over his head. He needs a bit of a snip for his hair, it's getting long. He keeps on fussing with it.

He flops back on the chaise I had him sitting on, a lounging sort of thing from the Victorian era and he smiles to himself. I think he's pleased with the mental image I just provided him with and I can't help but laugh a little. While he lounges, I add in Areli and Lavi from memory, though I have a small photo of us four—Quentin, the cats and me—pinned to the wall. At his feet I add myself in, on my knees, just seeing to his well-being. I'm no slave, I never will be, but this one piece is just fine and I would be more than willing to be at his beck and call. He's royal, after all.

Though I'm more than aware that before I go anywhere with this piece, I'll have to put a semi-clear sheet over it to copy over the base. One of these paintings will be one we can set up visible to the public eye, the other will be a little more private and it will more than likely go into either one of our bedrooms though we've been talking about transforming one of them into our bedroom and the other into we're not sure of what just yet.

That second painting will definitely be more naughty. With glimpses of skin and hands disappearing beneath clothes. No cats of course, that would be a little bit awkward, of course.

  


I shake his shoulder lightly, a soft laugh escaping me as I do. He dozes off easily when he's on that chaise. It's not the first time I ask him to pose for me. His lashes flutter and I lean down, kissing his mouth just softly. I pull back and he moves to follow me, catching my lips back in turn moments before I pull away from him altogether.

"I'm done with the basic set up, my lines are cleaned up and later I'll start in on the painting, I thought you might be hungry?" He rubs his eyes lightly, working to get the sleep out of them and he sits up with a smile.

"There's plenty I'd like to eat but nothing that would be properly filling, so I guess I'll have to settle for some food before I turn towards my real meal." My cheeks start to burn into a deep blush and something flutters in me. This is the first time he's talked this way, that low, husky sort of tone is not new but the words, they make something come to life inside of me. I don't know if this after-food meal will just be the usual or if we might just move a little further in our explorations. It makes me want to not wait at all but I'm hungry for real nourishment and I know he must be too.

He's grinning, that overly pleased in himself sort of grin that I don't see all that often on his face. I stick my tongue out at him, feeling suddenly childish and trying to hide the very present desire that's settled in me and I stretch before turning to leave the room. He laughs softly at my departure but it's an amused sort of sound, not one of derision. He's not laughing at me, he's laughing at the situation and it amuses him, good.

  


We share a plate of finger foods, sitting quietly at the kitchen table. I have to wonder what's going through his mind because he's back to his usual self. Whatever happened in the studio seems to have passed on by but I don't mind. When we get to cuddle I'm happy as can be because I have him with me so whenever we move beyond the cuddling, I'm just in heaven and whenever heaven comes around, I go with.

I try not to ask for that kind of thing often. I think the relationship is still young and we shouldn't rush. What happens does and that's that but at least we both know that we're going at our own pace and that we're just not listening to lust.

He stands from the table and walks back to the kitchen, he comes back with two glasses of water and I murmur a soft thank you. This is the kind of life we usually have day to day. He checks in on his money, I look through my list of work to do since I do have a few commissions waiting for me at times. When we're through with our work things, we move on to the life things. I sketch a little, he reads, we have a swim in the pool, we cuddle and watch a documentary on the television.

There's nothing rushed about our lives, unless I'm on a deadline of sorts and those aren't all that common. Most commission pieces come easily and I can work through them quickly enough to still give my client exactly what they've wanted.

  


When we're done with the food, I ponder our options and I have to grin slightly at what has just crossed my mind, it's not different from usual but it's not something we do often. I move back to my feet and I round the table to his side. I bow low in his direction and I try to hide the amused grin on my face. "Your pool is at the temperature you most desire, your highness, shall I take you there?" He looks puzzled for a moment but his face clears up quickly and he catches on. He looks at me for a long moment, as if studying me before he nods his head, it's a barely visible motion. "You may go on ahead and finish the preparations."

I nod and bow again before I take a few steps away though I turn again to face him. "Will his highness require help to change?"

"I will join you at the pool and from there you may help me change." We were going to swim bare, that meant mostly one important thing and I nodded before I was walking first towards the house door and I locked it. Then I wandered off towards the pool and I waited on his presence. I would have expected him to come about before I was done with the door and the rest since he could have headed to this area straight away but if he was playing royal, I don't know what he was planning, it was thrilling.

I see him walk into the pool area, his head held high and I keep a soft laugh to myself, he really does look royal. As he walks in and settles next to our little changing area, I walk past him to the pool door and I lock it too. I really don't want anyone to randomly pop in after all.

I walk back to him and I slowly begin to undress him. I try to keep my eyes from wandering his, to my eyes, perfect body but I can't help myself. Once he's bare, he gives me a moment to do the same and then he waits on me still. I take my cue from our usual relaxing pool time and I head into the water to gather the floating mattress. I bring it to the edge of the pool and he comes around, moving to settle into it. As I prepare to push him away from the edge he motions for me to get on with him and I just do as he tells me. He doesn't always have to use words.

He laughs softly and pulls me closer so I merely settle as I usually do. My legs lightly tangled with his, my toes in the water and my head on his shoulder. This is fine and perfect as far as I'm concerned and I could do this every day.


	9. Rumourmongers

I've heard a few people talking lately. They're all from the same group of eccentric old men though so I know I shouldn't really listen to them but it's hard not to when they've gathered in the common room of the building to discuss of their little discoveries. I had liked this building for that before, it gave me an excuse, aside from work, to get out of my apartment. It's hard to get around with the crutch and people seem to have no respect whatsoever for me. That I don't mind so much, I'm used to it, I just wish they wouldn't go out of their way to try and trip me. Now though, with these men nearly camping out in the common room, it makes it far from enjoyable, it makes it downright uncomfortable to be down there when they are.

I'm pretty sure all they're going on about are rumours but it's something to give some thought to. They say the folks who now own this building are different. I'm aware that we've had a change of owner but I haven't really noticed any changes otherwise. No raise or drop in the price of the rent, no new rules and I don't think they dropped any old ones.

I've seen one of said new owners only because I was fetching my mail down by the main doors when he walked on by and the old guy next to me also getting his mail started muttering about the devil and its demons or something. I think it's sad that people would do this to other folks. From what I saw of the guy, else than he was really, really tall, he looked every little bit human like the rest of us in this world. I only know or assume he's one of the owner because that's what the folks have been going on about, how our new landfolks are spawns of the devils, how they're different and how we're all doomed or something.

Not that any of them has done anything about it. None of them are talking about moving out. They claim the building is theirs and that they should be getting rid of the evil, instead.

I will probably never really meet these people unless I go out of my way to and I don't see why I would. I pay my rent on time, I'm a quiet tenant. They have a locked mailbox next to our wall of boxes and that's where I drop my rent, like almost everyone who keeps up with it. I'm pretty sure these guys have dropped more than just rent in that box and it makes me a little sad. No matter if someone is different or if they're the same, they should be treated how anyone wants to be treated.

  


I work in a library, I have access to so many books. Then again my whole apartment has more books than just about anything else. Old books most of the time too. I'm just fascinated. Growing up I couldn't play with other kids so well. I couldn't play sports and I couldn't run around, not with my leg as it is. I never really minded. I found books to be more interesting than people, I suppose it's why I work where I do now.

I do a lot of reading on a lot of subjects though since these old idiots brought up demons and the rest (and I'm not even sure why from what little I've seen of the owners else than the old coots are just out to get a good rumour going) I've been reading up on demonology. There are so many books and the opinions differ greatly. I don't even know if I should believe any of it or not. Most of it seems so painfully far fetched. A few of the books though, they're more subtle, they talk about demons in the way most humans are talked about. That they're just a little different, that they're gifted, depending on their origins.

At times I feel like I'm getting involved in something I shouldn't even be poking my nose into. I don't have a whole lot of other things to keep myself busy with and I suppose that's my downfall. I'll hear someone talk about something in particular, fairy tales, it happened before. I'll start reading up about those and try to find as much information as I can. Then I'll get tired of the subject and that'll just be that. I'll go back to reading and watching a little bit of everything until something else catches my attention.

All these rumours though, I don't even know what to believe and what to ignore anymore. I've heard that before too long the owners will be selling the building again but who knows how true that is. Some say they've been spending a lot of time in the warehouse being fixed up just two blocks over but so what, it doesn't mean much. It could just mean that they're keeping watch over something or another, a project of sorts. Doesn't mean they'll be selling this place again. I feel like we've been going through a lot of different owners in the recent years.

  


I was gathering my mail today when I was bumped into by a pair of teenagers. I toppled over, that's inevitable, my balance is shot when I'm not leaning properly on my crutch and my not leaning properly on it is common. I never adapted to that one fact though. I'm a lefty, I write and manage most of my daily going-ons with my left but it's also my left leg that's the issue and the crutch is on that side. So I tend to reach for things with my left instead of my right as I know I should, it would keep me on my feet.

They looked terribly apologetic. Carefully helped me back to my feet and gathered my mail back for me. They uttered a few words and I could only make out a bit of Hindi. It's one of those languages I only know a few basic words of, mostly because nothing has ever really caught my attention enough to make me want to learn more about it. 

They're strange looking boys though, now that I stop to think about it. They stayed by my side until I was back in my apartment, that's sweet in its own strange ways. Their hair is split down the middle, black on one side, blue for one on the other side and red for the other. Their eyes seem to match that colour. I've never seen anything like that before. It sure as hell doesn't mean they're demons or devils. They're just different and even if they were 'evil' as some would put it, they were very friendly towards me, not even once giving me that disgusted look I've seen on so many faces because of my disability.

I shouldn't spend so much time focusing on these rumours. It makes no sense and it doesn't do anyone any good. If people are different, they're different and that's all there is to it. I suppose one of the reasons I think about it so much is because I might try to believe that since they're different, maybe they hide from the world, maybe they accept those who are different better than most other people on this planet do. It might be nice to be accepted for who I am and not what I look like for once in my life.


	10. A Gourmet Chef

"You've truly outdone yourself today! What a gourmet chef!" I have to laugh, I know he's teasing but it's sweet. We've having one of our shared meals. I thought I would invite the twins and their sister (though she refused and I'm not surprised) to eat with us. I knew we were going to be squeezed up together however around the table in our apartment so I asked the two lovebirds if they would let us have the meal over at their place. I prepared everything before we went across and we all brought it down. It was heated back up while we sat in the living room, talking this and that with the twins trying to interject a few words now and then. They're quick studies.

I know, from a tiny bit of talking to the twins in that shared mindscape, that they never actually have been in India, despite that they only speak the language of the place. It's something that their sister failed to teach them I guess, something other than the language she grew up with. I know she speaks French so I don't know why she would cripple their chance at blending in with the rest of the society this way.

So I had a talk with Lex, Quentin and Yael about having our meal be centred on India and they agreed. Once a week or so we gather up around the table and we share a meal. Which meal tends to depend on the time of day. Usually it's just a little bit of a lunch, prepared with a theme from the world though at times, like today, we're able to share dinner. I think it's a good way of getting to know everyone else a little better, one day after the other. You can never know anyone well enough is what I'd like to believe.

  


The table is something of a mess from all the dropped bits of rice and the rest but it was protected by a cloth before we started since we all figured it would get a bit messy. The twins are both licking their fingers and I take that as a compliment about how my food turned out to be good enough. I know there are a lot of different cultures and types of food in India so I settled with what I knew. I've been to a few different places over the years. I haven't been all over the world but it's slowly getting there. Lex has been tom ore places than me and I envy him. Though he's been there long before any one of us even was a filthy little thought in our parents' minds so things have changed since.

All the plates are empty, there's nothing left over and that pleases me more than anything else. A few times in the past I've tried my hands at different dishes from different cultures and they didn't go over so well. This did and it warms me, it's nice. I know I'm not the best of cooks around, at times I still burn toast but when I really focus and I give it my all, it tends to come together beautifully. I know Yael is going to offer to get the dishes all cleaned up and brought back to us in a couple of days, along with the usual fruit and vegetable delivery. I suppose I don't mind so much.

  


We all bundle back up and head back across. We walk the twins up to their apartment and their sister lets them in without much of a huff. She doesn't even glare at us. I guess she's ever so slowly coming to terms with the fact that we're not all bad guys. I wish I had saved some of the food for her though. I guess it'll be for next time. Maybe she'll even say yes.

Next stop is our apartment and I step inside gratefully. I yawn and tug off my coat, hanging it on the portmanteau we keep not far from the door for that reason only. In the summer we keep lighter coats there just in case but in these colder months our scarves, coats and boots are usually there. 

Lex disappears off into the bedroom and I have to wonder why. It's a bit early to be changing for bed though it was a very filling meal and I feel a little bit bloated and slow myself. I guess I didn't realize just how much food I had prepared before hand, it hadn't seemed like quite so much. Still it was good so who is going to complain about feeling full?

He comes back out in some old worn jeans and a long sleeved shirt and he flops down onto the couch, one of his arm held out in offer. I look down at what I'm wearing and I'm the one to disappear into the bedroom now. I change, I find some old pants that are absolutely broken in and I could happily sleep in and I snag one of his old shirts. They're a little big on me but that's the point. That and they smell like him.

It's not long before I'm back to the living room and settling against him. He covers the both of us with the tie-dye blanket and I laugh softly. He just hugs me and I close my eyes.

"I was serious when I said that you're a gourmet chef. I know you have your days and at times it's easier to let the toast burn but today was exceptional, it really was all good. I mean think about it, there's nothing left. Usually we come back with some left overs."

"Usually we don't have starving twins eating most of the food themselves!" I laugh a little but it's half true. Not that they were starving but they ate more than I ever recall eating at their age but they're slight and small. More food won't hurt them and if it can boost them a bit even, it'll be something good to come of this all.

"Guess you're right but I've seen them turn their nose at salads but today they just devoured their way through everything. I guess they're like anyone else who's ever lived. Can't like everything that's thrown onto a plate of food." Honestly, I just want to make sure they're fed and warm. They are too skinny as far as I'm concerned though I'm not about to blame their sister for it. She's done the best she could, I assume, to keep them fed and warm with a roof over their heads.

I don't know their history, I'm not about to really go digging for it unless it's an absolute necessity, which it isn't at this point. They're healthy for the most part though Mira has been somewhat coughing lately but I know it'll pass now that he's got someone to watch over him. Several someones to take care of him, that is.

I turn slightly, nestling a bit more and I relax against him. My stomach is full, I'm warm and I'm loved. I could ask for nothing more of the world. Except for all these old tenants to stop trying to start rumours about us. Even if some of them are true. I've been trying my best to keep them out of my head but their grumbling is getting by clearly and I've heard a lot about what they think of us. I haven't brought it up to Lex yet but I might have to soon if it gets to be more than just grumbling. I want us all to be safe, after all. It's what's most important.


	11. Rigid Beliefs

"So he set himself and his family on fire?" That didn't really make sense, then again I suppose I shouldn't have judged, from what I've been slowly adapting to, in the world, this wasn't one of the worst things I'd heard. Still it was pretty bad for a man to set everyone in his family on fire, based on what he believed in. I hope to never turn into that kind of person. Then again, I value everything that surrounds me too much currently to even think of setting anything on fire.

Quentin shrugs besides me and shakes his head, he looks disgusted with the whole thing and I'm not feeling much differently about it all, it still just makes no sense. "I guess he believed so much and so strongly in whatever it is that went through his head that he thought this was going to make things right. All he's done is kill several innocent people."

Killing is absolutely unacceptable anywhere near any one of us. We've had too much of our share of that when we were younger and we don't want to hear about it or imagine it happening anywhere near us. Though at times I think some people might just go overboard. We find spiders now and again down here and instead of killing them or dropping them back outside which would just end up killing them anyway, we move them back up to the garden area where they'll eat any little bug or pest that might crop up. I do have open windows up there at times and I know the environment is not completely bug free, so the spiders help.

The butterflies are different though and those I'm happy to let roam free. I do have screens on most of my windows but I know that without a little help from bees and some other bugs, what I grow up there won't get anywhere so I tend to let the screens be open just enough to let the little help come in and out as they will.

  


We don't usually watch television unless they're documentaries or the music channels or a few rare movies. At times I guess we get just a little curious about the world out there, beyond our four walls and this city so we watch the news a little. It never lasts long. Most of the time all there is on the news is crime here, fire there and floods that have taken over the whole countryside. If it's not that, it's tornadoes, murders and car crashes. I guess we just have terrible timing.

Quentin is the one to turn the whole thing off, not even to the music channel before he yawns and stretches. I watch him for a moment, head canting slightly to the side. He smiles at me and holds out his hand with a chuckle. "I thought we could go out for a walk, it's warmer outside a little and it who knows, we might just see a few things that'll spark your inspiration. You haven't really been drawing lately."

I guess I haven't. My mind has been in a few different places and I still haven't found that old bird cage I want to fix up for Eoghan and Alexis when they move in to their new home. That and I've been thinking about the twin and how well they're learning the language, little by little. The garden has also been taking up a lot of my time though before I've always made time for drawing and pairing and I haven't lately. "You're right. Is it really any warmer outside? The wind yesterday was pretty chilly and I forgot my gloves, made me want to come back home as soon as I could."

He looks thoughtful for a few moments though I do press my hand to his. I like touching him, it's usually enough to get my artistic juices flowing and the thought makes me chuckle. He blinks at me, a question without asking it outright and I just grin slightly. "I was thinking about how just touching you like this was usually helping me get the juices flowing and I can't help it, my mind went completely south."

I still can't get enough of watching him when he blushes and it's still almost as easy as ever. Though I don't go out of my way to make it happen but I guess that at times I just find the right words and I utter them without really meaning to. He's grinning slightly though. He shakes his head and squeezes my hand lightly. "Well, I'm glad my touch gets your juices going. Maybe we should just bundle up a bit and head into the music store? We could find a few new CDs to add to our slowly growing collection. Though they have a small book section though I think they're mostly cooking related, who knows, there might be something in there."

I guess he does have a point. It could be interesting to see what new things they have in stock and cooking books never hurt though most of the ones we've bought so far we ended up giving to Eoghan since of all of us so far he's the one who does the most complicated dishes. We usually prefer to keep to simply thrown together food. Salads and at times pasta with a light sauce or just flat out cereals. We're not complicated souls.

Finally he gives me hand a tug and I move to my feet with another laugh. I squeeze in turn and we part ways to head to each of our room. We really are working on getting the two of them combined and we figure we might just use mine since I have more things than him. He'll move his things in and we'll turn his old bedroom into something else, we haven't really decided yet.

  


"I still can't believe he set himself on fire like that along with the rest of his family. I don't want to know how he managed to look at them while he did it." It's still bothering me. This is why we don't usually watch the news. I just get stuck on these things and it takes forever to essentially move on from that subject and onto something else altogether.

The air outside still is a little biting but not as cold as it was the day before when I dropped off my basket of fruits and vegetables up to the guys. Still I'm glad I have my heavy scarf and my gloves on, they keep my warm. The walk is half-long, the store is almost half an hour's walk away but that's fine by me, I've never been afraid of walking, I've had to all my life until I met Quentin and it hasn't changed now.

We're still hesitant to hold hands out in public but we're doing it a little more every time. I guess it's a fear born of more than just not being accepted. We're essentially hiding what we really are, it's hard to not let that take over all of our lives and hide who we might love while we're in public and all that rot. We're just doing our best to not let that fear of being found out rule us.

So we are holding hands, just walking side by side in companionable silence. It's the best way to move on from the subjects we don't want to talk about and I know that if I stop thinking about the moron and his too rigid beliefs, I'll eventually forget about it and move on to things that are more important to me. That's just how it is, in the end. It's how my mind works.


	12. Absolute Discord

My gift is hardly a gift, it is more a curse than anything else. It's why I'm so glad I have a little bit of my brother's gift with me at all times. It helps to keep things dormant, it helps me have better control over something that might otherwise send the whole area into utter and absolute discord. I've been to places when I was younger, before I had my brother's gift with me and there were wars. I know they're my fault and at times these memories wake me at night.

I try not to think about it too much but it's not always easy. I have realized, over the years, that by forcing myself away from Eoghan, I thought I was helping myself, I thought that by being still too long I would turn to strife and discord but I was wrong. It's hard not to think that my whole life could ruin his if I stopped wearing this little bit that is all my brother could afford to give me. The last thing I want is to ruin him in any way and I guess it's what has kept me leaving him again and again for such long periods of time. It breaks my heart now that I think about it. I was only doing it for his own good, is what was on my mind but I was a fool and I hurt the both of us as I did it.

  


He shifts slightly against me, breathes warmly in his sleep and I just sigh and screw my eyes shut. It makes me want to cry, lately, when I think that I could have lost everything I have now if I hadn't come back. I think he was starting to be ready to move on though he might not have realized it. I pull him just a little closer, barely. I just want to feel him against me, make sure he's not going anywhere at all.

I know I can control my gift. When I was younger though, I thought that it might help him along into insanity. He'd get such bad headaches when we first met, I was sure that I was my fault. That somehow my chaotic pull was weakening him and letting all those voices into his head. I felt terrible about it all and yet I know that most of it, none of it really, was my fault.

He was still so young when I first met him, just a teenager really. He had little to no control over his own gift. He was living in a cave when I first met him, a literal cave! It was away from the world I guess and it kept him from hearing everything. I don't know if he grew up with his parents or not. My finding him in that cave makes me think that this is not the case. I suppose it might be what brought us together. I grew up with my brother and no parents either myself. I know it's not that common a theme amongst gifted, demons as most call us. I've been through a lot of different places where parents were cherishing their children as best as they could.

So I guess the four of us are linked in that way. I'm usually a little wary of letting new people into my life, especially gifted souls, it comes from my own uncertainties but some people just manage to sneak in closer than others.

Eoghan is one of those. At first I told myself I was just making sure he was all right, that he wasn't starving but before long he was more important than just another one of 'them'. The gifted ones who are abandoned by their owns. I've met a few but they weren't all that common and pity is all I felt at first. He changed me and in a way I guess I changed him.

  


He shifts again and I pull my mind back to the surface. I really need to try and stop focusing on these things when we're trying to sleep. I've been losing rest over this lately and it's not doing me much good. His eyes are hazy but he's focused on me. I feel him probe lightly at my mind and I just smile at him sheepishly, I shake my head. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking back about how I always thought I would destroy you if I stayed with you too long. It just took me too long to wrap my head around that and I'm sorry."

He smiles at me in that sleepy, pleased sort of smile and he moves in, kisses me just lightly before he's near literally flopped back against me with a yawn. This is his 'there's nothing to apologize for, I love you' thing he does when he just feels the need to sleep but knows he still has a point to get across. It makes me smile every time really. It's not long before his breathing evens out against my shoulder and I try to let my mind drift off.

  


I don't really remember my dream if I had any. It's honestly rare that I recall them and I suppose I would have to ask Eoghan about them if I really wanted to know but it's not that important. I feel mostly refreshed when the first few rays of light start to peek through the curtains. I move my hand about slightly and I don't feel him next to me. I blink and listen for a moment, I can hear the shower going. It's rare that he's up before me but he might have plans for the rest of the day, that or an appointment somewhere. 

He still does his own thing, I would never force him down and tell him that he can only do what I say is safe for him, that would be one of those foolish things I try not to do too often anymore.

He comes out of the bathroom, towel over his hips and he smiles sweetly at me before he's joining me back on the bed. His hair is still just slightly moist but it's mostly dry. He nestles down against my side as if he hadn't just gotten washed and I have to laugh a little. "Now what's this about?"

He nuzzles my shoulder lightly and shrugs, lips quirked to a grin. "I woke up and I had to deal with an issue and you looked so peaceful that I took a shower instead. You needed the sleep so don't start with those wide eyes and feigned hurt that I had a shower instead."

Well, I was going to half-complain but instead I just stick my tongue out at him and I hug him closer to my side again. This is where I feel he belongs and this is where I like him to be at. In a perfect world I think I would never want to leave this bedroom and I'd want him here with me permanently. This isn't a perfect world but it's not too far from and it's just fine for me. "I suppose I needed the sleep, still, next time, you know how much it means to me to help you, so just wake me, yes?"

"I'll think about it." He snickers lightly and I know that's essentially a no. He has my well-being at heart, I can't blame him for that.


	13. It Occured to Me...

I don't know why it just occurred to me now. Why my memory drifted back up to the surface on this very subject. I suppose it's not all that important since it's a part of my life I have more than willingly left behind but still it makes me wonder. When Quentin first noticed me, though it's not me he noticed it's one of my old graffiti, he said he felt a pull. Sure there's something to a pull but I wonder what he thought of the graffiti itself. It's nothing grand but I realize now that I still should have asked him. It's been so long though, he might not even really remember what it looked like. I'm the one who spray painted it on that wall and even I'm having issues recalling what it looks like now.

I've changed since then, my art style has evolved quite past the scribbles of names and tags on old brick walls though I haven't lost the desire, now and again, to take paints or my pencils and to art away on a wall. I don't know why I find it liberating. Of course I don't go around painting on the walls of our home but at times I wish I had clean, free of use walls around me so I could just paint away at them. I have no walls at all on the second and third floor, it's all windows so there's nothing for me there to paint. On the ground floor, there are the walls of my room and I've pondered that a few times. I've already gone through the walls in my studios. Of course it required temporarily moving furniture but I'd like to think the results are worth it.

When he first saw the murals, Quentin said I could make a living of that but that would require me spending time away from him, longer than I'd really want, really, and spend time in other people's home, painting up their walls and ceilings and I don't know about that. I might just prefer sketching up clothes, have him create beautiful materials for me and I stitch all of them up together into a beautiful result.

What little bits and pieces I've done of this so far are clothes we both wear. The blanket he's given to Eoghan for Christmas, a necktie for Alexis. Small simple little things. It's too exhausting for him to really do more than he does now and again and I don't want to wear him out. So the idea the starting up our little fashion boutique is mostly out of the question. I don't mind, I think it would take us away from the routines we have now and I'm more than happy with our routines as they are.

Lately though, I've been tempted to paint a mural on the bits of walls the pool area has. It's not much but I thought it might give it more of a tropical sort of look, it might be nice. I'd need better paint though, water resistant stuff that I don't have so I don't think about it too much.

  


The warehouse next door is slowly coming along now. The weather is still cool but not too cold and workers have resumed their work. They've torn down all exterior walls that hadn't been fixed up yet, on all floors and they've set up these thick plastic-or-whatever sheets they have to keep the snow out and the rest. I think they're working on the building from the inside out. When it'll be warmer outside they'll finish up the outer walls and then they'll be working on heat, electricity and the rest that the building needs to have inhabitants. 

It's taking forever for the building to be up and done but I suppose it's because of the season. I don't know how long it took them to get this place done, Quentin doesn't really talk about it and I don't really ask. It doesn't often cross my mind to ask these kind of things, the information doesn't have any real use for me.

Just now though, the thought that crosses my mind pulls a grin to my lips and I have to wonder why I hadn't thought about it before. It's genius really. Though of course the idea coming to fruition will depend on both Alexis and Eoghan, if they might be all right with the idea that I could paint up murals on some of these walls. I mean why not? They pick the theme and I could draw them just about anything they might want. They might have places they remember from their childhood, places filled maybe with fond memories and it might be a good thing to have clearer memories of those places!

  


I wander off in search of my better half, though he might not see himself as that. I guess I feel the need to let him know about that idea first to see what he might think about it. I don't need anyone to tell me if what I think is right or wrong but this is a bit bigger than just me and he still know Eoghan better than I do so I figure that running it past him is a good starting point.

He's with the cats, playing in their room. Flinging little toys left and right and they fetch, bring it back. I still have a hard time believing they do that, it's honestly quite funny to witness. They would never have done that before, though I suppose it's mostly because we hadn't taken time to really try it. We'd play with the ticklers and the toys on the long sticks, having them chase those. We never really thought to throw a small toy out to the end of their room to see if they might fetch it or not. For most, after all, fetching is mainly a dog thing.

I settle down next to him, bumping my shoulder lightly against his and he smiles at me. He's amused and I find myself smiling in return. It's just amazing to watch these two, they could be parkour champions if they were more of the two-legged kind, I'm sure. I watch them for a while, just appreciating the fact that my life, currently, is peaceful and I feel it is well deserved.

  


Quentin thinks that the idea might actually be a good one. He figures that Eoghan has a few places he's been over the years that hold good memories for him and that painting them somewhere, even if it's to put up on a wall and not directly on the wall, might be a good thing. He doesn't know about Alexis, we're both getting to know the guy as it is so we can't say what he might or might not like. I'd like to think I have a bit of a connection with him though. Quentin and Eoghan get along well together, they have these little quirks that are a bit similar. I feel that way with Alexis at times. The quiet times we've spent together have meant the world to me. At times the quiet helps me find my center again.

I guess I'll just have to run the idea by them. It'll be a while before anyone can go over there without a hard-hat as is and I'm sure it'll be even longer before I can try to paint anything without some discomfort or fear that I'll get dust everywhere in my paints and that whatever I try to add to these blank walls will be grainy. I'm in no rush, it's just one of those countless ideas I get to keep myself busy and entertained with.


	14. Childless

I don't know how much longer I can live in this apartment. All the rumours are driving me batty. There's always something going on with these old coots. Even before the new owners it was how such and such companies were out to destroy the world and they were evil. Before that it was how the woods a distance off from us were haunted. I'm aware that it's rare for rumours to hold any positive light but it's starting to drag me down. I wonder if these guys ever saw life in a positive light. I wonder if they've ever been married, if they've ever had kids. Is that why they're so bitter and chattery together?

I can't honestly afford to look for another apartment. This one is perfect, the rent is just right and the route to get to work and back is almost perfect. The bus is a couple of corners away and it takes me directly there. There are a few shopping places on the way and I can get my groceries on the way home. I can only walk certain distances without my leg beginning to hurt in a really bad way and my routine is settled.

I'm more than aware that I might end up like these guys when I get old, too. No one really looks at me twice because of my leg, because of the brace, because of everything really. I'll never have someone to love or call my own though I did when I was younger but they were taken away from me. It's likely I'll never have children of my own either because of my job (I can just barely afford my day to day life as it is), because of my life as a whole and mostly because I don't want kids to have to suffer the way I have growing up. I've mostly accepted my life as it is but it took painful years to get where I'm at. I don't want anyone else to suffer this way. At least if they're in my life.

  


I haven't seen the strange twins again. It might be because of my schedule or maybe because they've moved elsewhere, I wouldn't fault them. This place is filled with older, retired folks mostly and they yap-yap-yap and complain and ugh. I only ever picked this place because it was in my price range and it wasn't too far from work and everything else. I guess this is a nice spot for retirees even if it's not a retirement home. I don't know that any home would want these folks for all the complaining they do.

I caught a glimpse of one of the owner again, the same as before, the ever so tall one. I don't think he has knowledge of these rumours or he does and he doesn't really care about them. He was standing tall, smiling and just looking happy to be alive. I'm glad at least someone in these halls has some joie de vivre. I wish I could talk to him, ask him about the rumours but I don't know that anyone should be approached this way for that kind of information. It's best to just not think too much about it.

* * * *

  


I don't know all the residents yet. I don't make it my job to but I try to at least be aware of who is living where. I know we have a young (by my terms, I think he's in his late twenties) librarian living near the top floor. He walks with a limp and a crutch. I can't sense much from him and I try not to. Eoghan would do better at reading him than me and I don't really want to. When I've crossed him down in the halls though he looked life-worn and I suppose that living in this place might do that kind of thing to someone younger.

Most of our residents are older, retired folks. A lot more men than women and they take up a lot of room in the common room downstairs with their discussion about how the world is going to hell because of this or that. They have a rumour going that we're spawns of the devil and it amuses me in a way. In just a couple of months more we'll never have to deal with them ever again so I don't worry too much about it.

The librarian though, I don't know why I worry about him. He's mortal and human like the rest of the residents in this place. There's just something about him. I suppose he might remind me of someone I met when I was much younger. I know that not all humans are bad, that not all of them are corrupted and would hunt us down. Though I'm also aware that plenty of them would more than likely just try to use us for our gifts and it's not better. At times though, I come across the rare almost-gem. That one soul who has been mistreated enough to make it wary of everything else.

I shouldn't dwell much on it. Before long I'll be leaving all of this behind and never coming back to this building. Then why is it I feel like, by doing this, I might be leaving behind someone who could use a helping hand? It makes no sense. I'll have to talk to Eoghan about what's going on through my mind. It's not as if we can have him move in with us. The point of the warehouse being renovated is that we can be ourselves without having to really hide who and what we really are. Adding a mortal human into our midst would pretty much defeat that purpose.

It might just be passing folly, I'm sure it's just because he reminds me of something from the past. I know some humans, when they die, are reborn. That whole soul seeking a new body sort of thing. Some retain memories of past lives, some remember and some keep those dormant until the rest of their lives. It's rare for past lives to resurface in souls but I've seen it happen. Is this what this is about? Is he the reborn soul of someone I've known long ago? Only Eoghan might be able to answer this and it usually takes a lot of work to get that information. I don't think he's ever tried to pry that kind of information out of a mortal's mind. It might not even be feasible.

I have to focus on what's happening now and on what we're doing now. I'll bring it up briefly to Eoghan and I'll leave it to him to be his charming self and talk to the librarian, see if he can't find out anything about him. After all, it happens now and again that the building's manager goes around talking to its tenants to make sure everything is fine, all right and dandy.

For now, I have several commissions waiting to be finished and I need to focus on that. I need to shut everything of the world outside of my mind, the detail work on these pieces is important and requires a lot of patience which I seem to be in short supply as of lately. I'm not sure what's the matter with me but this needs taken care of, the sooner the better at this point, too.


	15. Goodness

"He's really quite the giving type, isn't he?" Some things are just hard to ignore, this seems to be one of them. Some people are just so absolutely filled with goodwill and goodness that they go out of their way for others. At times it makes them forget to take care of themselves though, it shows in the rest of him.

"For a mortal whose life will have meant little to nothing in the specks of the whole universe, I suppose that yes, he's quite overflowing with the need to make sure everyone has what they need." Always a little harsh, Lex. He doesn't mean it, I know, he just doesn't realize it most of the time. He's the oldest of us all and he's seen more than anyone else so I suppose that yes, he's had his share of encounters with poor mortal company, still. I guess he's right in a way, though we, demons with longer lifespans, we don't really matter that much more when we look at the universe as a whole.

I shake my head, brushing the thought off and chuckle softly. I suppose I can't blame him for it, really. "True, some are so selfless that they die younger than everyone else. Do you know why I check the world news this way now and again?" 

I know he knows why, I've told him before. I check the world news in case something really different catches my eye. Usually when it does it's because whoever is behind whatever it is that the news speaks of is not quite of mortal blood. I suppose I try to find more of us in the world. For so long we were living in pocket dimensions, in worlds under their feet. From what Lex says though, there used to be a time when all lived side by side. When religion first cropped up though, hell broke loose on the different ones.

It's not that I'm trying to track down every single demon out there but at times it's a little comforting to know that there are others. That we're not all just a memory that might never really go much of anywhere since we have to hide ourselves to the world.

  


Something else, though I should say someone else, filled to the brim with goodness is Yael. Every week, twice a week he drops by with his basket full of fruits, full of vegetable. Always smiling, eyes bright. He even has extra lately for us to drop off with the twins and their sister. He barely knows them and yet he's still giving them a little bit of his hard work. I'm just amazed at all this guy does for everyone else.

He's still somewhat underweight though, I'm sure Quentin has noticed it too but there isn't much any of us can do. I guess the feeling that it's just how his metabolism goes and there's not a whole lot of anything we can change about that. I'm sure he eats just fine on a daily basis and that's all there is to that. At least he's not painfully thin but he is a little bony. I feel a bit like mama bear when I start to think about this. I'm old enough to have seen my fair share of things and I'm a bit more motherly than fatherly, that's more Lex's thing than mine and he does it just fine when he's not thinking about how pathetic most mortals are.

I swear, when the time goes to go living down in our own world, I'll really feel like mama bear. I've been trying to figure out a way of taking both warehouses down with us. For all the world that'll have gone into them, it would be a rightful shame to leave them up here to rot away like the rest of humanity by then but I don't even know if that'll be possible. We could move things a little at a time but even that might take too long. Starting over is never easy but at times it's necessary.

  


Recently, Lex has brought up one of our tenants and I have to say he surprised me more than I had expected. For once he's not bashing a human while talking about them, I was baffled. I didn't understand at first what it was all about but when he mentioned feeling some sort of strange pull I put aside all my questions and I just focused on him. It's rare as can be that he feels a 'pull' as it is. He says there is one where Yael is concerned but that might just be for how sweet and giving he is but this human, this Armin (I found his name on his paperwork), he seems to have some sort of pull on Lex and he asked me to try to find out why.

It could be that he has very dormant or very, absolutely diluted demon blood in his veins. It's not unheard of that demons will find a human mate and have little ones with them. Be it that the demon is the mother, usually the children grow up knowing their parents and grandparents and the rest but when the demon is the father, things are a little different. Seeing as he continues to live on while the mother grows old, at times demon-hood gets lost. It's a thought. I can't really know much more unless I talk to him and I'm not sure how I might approach him about this on the subject.

Most mortals, I'm generalizing, I'm aware, aren't comfortable with the thought that there are demons in the world. When one starts raving about having met demons, they're usually thrown out to the world of loony bins to be studied until the end of their lives or until they change their story and start acting as if it had never happened before.

So it makes it a little complex to want to do this to someone. Lex said the guy looks like he's gone through a lot. Walks with a limp and a crutch, keeps to himself and all, what little he's seen of him anyway. I don't want to take what little 'life' someone has away from them. I can't just walk up to him, snag his hand and go dig into his mind. I suppose I could block the memories of that event but then he'd be stuck with a blank and then what? I could make it appear as if it was a dream but that too has side effects that are less than desirable.

I'll just have to find something or leave it be. Hard to though considering this is Lex bringing it up. When he brings something up it usually is rather important and shouldn't be just ignored. If he says there's a pull, there's a reason and that's all there is to that, in the long run. I'll do a bit of research, see what I can figure out and maybe I'll find a legitimate reason to talk to this guy so I can sneak a peek into his ancestry. I'm not all evil and doom. I don't go out of my way to ruin someone's life. Hell I'll do quite the opposite if I can help it.


	16. Direct Opposites

They're my brothers. I love them as much as I can but at times they still just baffle me to no end. They adapt so much more quickly than I ever have, it frightens me to think that one day they might just not need me anymore and I don't know what I'll do with my life at this point. 

Things were different when they were born. I couldn't bare to look at them. We're born to a family of elemental demons. My father's mother is a wind demon and his father a water demon. My father is a wind demon. My mother's mother is an earth demon and her father is a fire demon. My brother is an earth demon. I think everyone in the family is aware that we'll all have very mixed gifts. They expected some to have multiple gifts but to this day, we've all been gifted to just one. I have a lot of cousins, or had I suppose since we had to flee years ago. 

When Agni and Mira were born, I honestly wanted to get rid of them. I want to blame this on the fact that to that point in my life I had been an only child and one quite heavily spoiled. We had a huge family home away from the crowds of our city and it was comfortable as could be. On either side on the same oversized bit of land lived my grandparents, my uncles and aunts, the whole huge family lived in the same area, it was a matter of safety. 

My parents spoiled me rotten. It took me a long while to adapt to the change but I'd like to think I treat my brothers with the respect they deserve now. They are so different. Their gifts are direct opposites and my parents thought they might come to hate one another as they grew up but it's quite the opposite. One completes the other, it's warming. 

  


Leaving the family home was one of the most difficult things I had to do, especially with these two who just weren't old enough to handle the travelling but I had to and I really just had no choice then. They were hunting us down, killing us one after the other for what we were. I took the twins and I fled. 

I'm not sure how I landed here in France, my memories of that are a little fuzzy. What I do know is that we went from shelter to shelter since I couldn't exactly find a job and take care of these boys a the same time. It was hard growing up this way but I think I managed well enough. The twins seem to be in no way really scarred by anything that happened while they grew up. They don't much talk about it but for how easily they open up to people they believe they can trust, I can rest a little. 

Now we have a roof over our heads and I don't know what to think about it. I should be grateful but I have a hard time trusting strangers, even if he claims to be one of us. Anyone could claim that to just get us to trust them and then they'll just start cutting us apart to find out what makes us who we are and how we work. 

Agni and Mira spend a lot of time up there in their apartment with them. I suppose I have to begin to trust them. Mira trusts too easily, he flows like his gift and he adapts perfectly well to almost any situation. Agni is a bit more difficult to handle, he has a dangerous temper and he's overly protective but he seems to be as fond of these people as his brother is. I don't know if the respect he shows is grudging or willingly given. 

I don't want my brothers to suffer, I suppose it's why I'm so hard on them but I've had to look after them for years, I don't want all this work to go to hell because I let my guard down with a pair of people. Still they keep on inviting everyone over, they bring fruits and vegetables. We don't have to pay for the roof over our head. It all feels too good to be true and I don't know what to do about it all. 

  


Right now, Mira is sprawled on his bed, fast asleep and Agni is reading one of the books that they let him borrow. I feel no remorse for not knowing their names yet or really remembering them. I don't feel like I can bother with that just yet though I might have to before too long. 

My brothers are beginning to learn how to speak both English and French. I know it's probably a fault of mine that I didn't teach them any other language than the one I really grew up with. I guess I was trying to keep them from befriending other people. I've learned that if you don't speak the language, most folks will turn their backs and look at you as if you didn't belong. I was just trying to protect my brothers after all. 

They're growing up still, they're learning and adapting and I'm left behind wondering if I didn't protect them too much. It's not as if they can't protect themselves, they can do that just fine but they're all I have and I don't want to end up on my own. What if they start to like these guys so much they leave me behind, forget I ever existed? Very selfish of me, I know. I can't help it. 

I lost all of my family when I left India. I don't know if any of them are still alive at all, a lot had been slaughtered when I took the boys and ran. They're all I have. The twins were too young to really remember though at times they ask me to tell them stories about mom and dad. At times I tell them the truth, at times I make up stories. They don't know any better and that's just all there is to that. Maybe one day they'll find out the truth but I'm pretty sure that's a really far away day that won't come any time soon. 

  


There is a shared dinner invitation again for tonight. I might try to make an effort, I should go, get to know these people who are offering so much without asking for anything in return. It's just suspicious, no one is that willing to give anything of theirs away anymore. That or my life on the street just has left me jaded to the goodness some people might have in them. I don't know and I don't honestly want to think too much about it. 

Still I suppose a meal shared with others, like those times when I was so much younger and my life hadn't gone to hell yet, might be nice. They are strangers but my first meals shared with all the family was strange, I didn't know my aunts, uncles or cousins, so it might not be so different. I can't get to know these people unless I give it a try to it's all I can really do.


	17. Rooster

None of us know where he's been staying at, where he came from or why. All we know is that it's still cold as can be out there currently but he's still there and every morning, when it's way too early for anyone's comfort, we can all hear him crowing. It's like he's right in the room with us when he does it he's so loud.

We went outside, tried to look for him, hell I'd cook him at this point if I could find him because I'm tired of being startled back to awareness when I've just wandered off to bed. He's been at it for a week now. At first the twins found it funny as hell, I guess it's not a sound they're used to. It startled them but then it moved on to being funny to now being quite a nag. Lex isn't much of a grump about it because from what Eoghan says, he's usually up with the sun. Eoghan has been a complaining grump because he's missing out on precious sleep. Yael is confused more than anything else and he's been on the mock-prowl to find the offending rooster and I'm just trying to ignore it.

It's not all that easy, we'd almost settled back into a night routine. Though it's not so bad, hearing him crow as he does with the first light of day, it kind of jars us into wakefulness when we'd been just moments away from finally drifting off and finding proper rest. It leaves us to play zombies for a while until we find sleep as we should again. I'm thinking we'll have to settle on living during the daylight hours for a while.

  


We had a good laugh about it earlier today though. Just talking about it and trying to make sense of where it might be or where it came from when Lex called it a cock. I'm aware that this is one of the terms for it but we just all went quiet a moment and started laughing for no other reasons than I'm sure we're all tired. Every one of us but Lex that is though he still looks like he could get more rest than he's been getting lately.

I know why the term amuses us this way and I know that it's something of a childish reason to be amused but we can't help it. It's just how it is. Some words affect us more than others and especially when we're all a little sleep deprived. Now if the twins had been with us, they might not have gotten the joke and someone would have had to explain and I'm not sure how any of us would have gone on about this. I don't know if they're aware of this term and what it means in English. I don't even know why we all laughed at it anyway considering but Lex and Eoghan both speak English first and French second. I get around in English and Yael does just about the same.

  


I'm not completely exhausted yet, I'm just annoyed by the bird. None of us has seen it, we don't know where it might just be and we can't explain why it sounds like it's in the same room as us when it starts crowing. It's one of those things we have no explanation for whatsoever. I suppose it could be one of those group hallucination but that makes no sense. Those tend to happen to people who are all in the same room at the same time or the same area at the same time. This has been happening for a week, at dawn and those who have heard it are in two different buildings and three different apartments.

Eoghan hasn't said anything about his tenants and I suppose they're either hearing it but not bringing it up or they're just not hearing it. In which case that worries me just slightly as it means it might be something centered on us demons but I have no idea why that would be at all. I try not to focus too much on it but it's getting a bit hard to not know that there is something going on. None of us will get any proper rest until we find it and put an end to it.

Trying to think back now, to the last place all of us were together was right here in our kitchen. Even Zora was with us this time. We didn't go outside, we didn't touch anything out of the ordinary though Eoghan had us try this new recipe he'd found and it called for rooster meat. Maybe we're haunted by a pissed off rooster because we had ourselves a quite a delicious meal off of its meat.

So maybe I am a bit more exhausted than I figured if I'm thinking we're somehow haunted by a pissed off rooster. The thought is vaguely amusing but somewhat disquieting all the same. I'm aware that there are spirits and ghosts in this world but really, how far-fetched is the possibility that we're all stuck with a rooster ghost trying to keep us away into exhaustion and who knows what?

  


He's looking at me strangely now and I don't blame him. I told him about the thought I had on the rooster ghost idea. He's quiet, looking, I can't read his face at all and there, he starts snickering and he laughs, holding his sides as he does. It is a foolish idea, really! After a few minutes however he quiets and shakes his head, wiping his cheeks somewhat. He leans his elbows on the table somewhat, both our plates are empty.

"Well I suppose it could be an option. I've never heard of rooster haunting. Though I think back to that haunted house we visited back then on Halloween and it might just make sense. I felt something in that house, I know it's possible to be haunted, I'd just find it hilarious if somehow that rooster came back to haunt us because we had a good meal out of it.." 

He pauses and shakes his head, a thoughtful look crossing his face though he reaches out and rests his hand on mine. I chuckle lightly, it is a pretty crazy idea. "Still, who knows, I think we might as well tell Eoghan, he might know something that could be done and if this is what it is, there might be a solution and we might just get that crowing bird to move on and head into the light. Crazy, but there have been crazier things out there done in the world and it just can't hurt to think that this might fix the issue."

It's comforting to know that I might not be completely crazy, that I might be on to something here, even if it is absolutely far-fetched. "None of us have seen this bird or anything that may show its presence, we've only all heard it as if it was right next to us. It's far-fetched but it might not be that crazy." 

We'll go across in a while, talk this over with our most wonderful chef and see what he might think about it. Who knows, getting rid of this maybe-ghost might require all of us around a table with hocus-pocus stuff being uttered but I think it might just be worth a try after all. It sure as hell can't hurt.


	18. Essence

Painting, lately, has left me feeling poetic. Though I suppose a better, proper term might be I get philosophic. I get to thinking about the essence of all things on this planet. I don't honestly know why. It doesn't happen with everything I paint but with most everything. Be it from painting a scene of wildflowers blooming in a field with a gorgeous black horse standing there, its mane brushed through by the wind. I think these flowers are made of little bits of this and that, this horse is made of muscle which is made of smaller things and smaller yet things.

The short version of this philosopher's mindset is that we're all the same in the end. It's just in the way those tiny, invisible things are knitted together that makes us different from the next person over. In the case of us, gifted ones, it's a matter that there just was a special thread used to knit us together, to make sure we didn't come falling apart at the seams at the first gust of wind that might try to take us away, sweep us off our feet.

I don't often bring this up to Quentin though, then again, with this 'ghost rooster' thing that happened just a few days ago it might not hurt to bring up this idea I have that all things are the same at the smallest of levels, it's just as things grow bigger by pairing up with more of those tiny little things that make us who we are, we become different. I just don't think he would appreciate being compared to humans in any way. He doesn't hate them, he just doesn't like them much and he tries to avoid spending too much time in their presence, he's essentially afraid they'll think he smells different or looks different and that they'll find out he's not like them.

Not a single soul in this world, despite those teeny tiny things, our essence really, is the same. Not even a father and son who might look so much alike when the son is old enough. They're not the same. They're different. The twins, Agni and Mira, they're identical, short of the colour of their hair, their eyes and their gift. Still, for someone who might have no sense of colour, who might see in greys or all blues or reds or hell brown. They'd be identical but in the very long run, they're not. They are but not. 

I get lost in this world of thinking that we're all, at the root of things, the same but as we grow and become who we really are, the differences are all startling. This isn't really a discussion that be easily had with anyone. I don't see myself approaching someone and going, 'hey, did you ever notice, we're all the same, deep down inside but we're all different in the end?' I can only imagine the looks I might get.

  


When thinking about our essences though, it can mean so much. It's not just at the root of things, when I go into that antique shop, it's hard to keep myself from visiting the little herb shop right next to it. When I first stepped in I was taken aback, I hadn't expected such an almost attack on my nose. The scent wasn't bad, it was just so expected. Then again I didn't know what I was getting into, stepping into that kind of shop. 

I like to have different scents mingle in my room, usually I buy them in the bottles of oils, let a few drops hit this or that and it's heavenly really. This is another kind of essence though. The essence (in a literal sense) of flowers and herbs, crushed to dust in some case, set in oil for preservation in other, put to candles, into potpourri. 

It is such a wide term, it encompasses so much. A lot of people use the term in ways that seem unlikely though but I can't blame them. The whole world is out to use every word it has in every way possible. That's just how things are.

  


Lately, I've been putting little drops of scented oils into my paints. Mostly my blues and my greens. Though depending on what I'm painting, the other colours have gotten tiny little drops too. My latest painting, a waterfall, some evergreens, a couple of deer, when you approach it and you close your eyes, it's like you're stepping into a forest. I know the scents won't hold forever but they hold for a good enough while. The first time I did this it was an accident but it was such a success once I was done that I tried it again. I even offer it on my commissions, people go crazy for it.

Of course when I'm done painting and everything is dry, I seal it up to keep the scents in until the piece is where it should be. There the client can unwrap it and appreciate the mix and match of scents they picked. A lot of folks are skeptical about that kind of thing since you can't really make sure that the scent you pick is really what you imagine it is but I'd like to think that I've explained well enough what they're like and what encompasses them.

Areli and Lavi both seem a bit confused by the scents that flow about my studio so they tend to keep away from it. I suppose it's not a bad thing, that way I don't get any surprise as I did before I started working with the oils. Woke up, went to my studio to finish up a piece for a customer, I had myself several paw tracks across the piece. Thankfully (thank god really, if there was any!) the customer actually loved it. It's not so much that they hate the scents, but they come by the door, have a sniff and just go on their way.

I still have oils like that in my room but they're not as fragrant as the ones I use with the paint and they still come in now and again to lounge on my bed ever peacefully. Quentin seems to appreciate them too. Then again I'm only half sure of that, he hasn't really commented on them in any way yet so I don't know if that's a positive or negative. He tends to react rather quickly to things he doesn't like so I think this is a bit of a positive thing.

If it ever comes to the fact that he doesn't like it, I'll just keep the oils to my work room and that'll be that. I can live without them. I had before I ever moved in here with him and it won't kill me to not have them in my room anywhere. Still, I think it's a nice sort of thing, it's a quiet little reminder of the outdoor while we're inside, it's nice and light. I guess if I could I'd live my whole life outside, so long as it wasn't freezing cold and I had food every day. 

I don't want to be homeless, being homeless is a terrible sort of thing and I've lived too many years that way. I just appreciate nature and its purely untouched essence. It's wonderful, beautiful. I just wish the other idiots living on this planet weren't going out of their way to destroy it all because to them, technology is more important than nature. That breaks my heart.


	19. A Collection

Currently locked away in a container, the ones often seen on big ships on the waters, are books. This container is currently sitting, next to two others, a small distance off from a warehouse being renovated so folks can be moved into a better living area, into a quieter home. Whether or not these books will be moved into the building itself once it is completed is hard to know. There are so many, a small library would be necessary to hold them all.

It is a passion, something I do to keep track of things as they go by. So many of these books are old, first publications, first editions. I have had to many years to go through at this point and none of these books have cost me much considering I tend to get them when they first get out. They age with me. 

When I moved in with Eoghan, I said I was packing everything up, having everything shipped here. Most of what I own is still sitting in containers like the one with the books. I have three in all. It's hard not to have a lot of things at my age and considering how many places I spent my time at. Those three containers are sitting in part of the yard at the back of the warehouse and I've been thinking about using them to create a sort of mock library once they were empty. I'm aware that I have too much luggage to even fit just our single floor, even though there will be room. Some of these things will go into the other apartments. It is a matter of trust and I know that trust is strong, usually, between those who hide from mortals. Zora is an exception but we're slowly winning her over.

The slight trouble at this point is that there is no room for all these books out of the container and the container cannot be transformed into a three-floor library if it is full. So all these carefully filled boxes will have to be moved into the warehouse briefly. In the safest of room until that project is completed. This is something I have not told Eoghan about because it is a recent sort of thought. 

When I was given confirmation that my things had arrived, and I had asked them to drop them off at the back of the construction site, out of the way, I knew that I would finally find some peace within myself and I did. I just hadn't realized how much I really had. I did honestly think I could fit all of my things up with us. The top floor is huge, we'll have room, most might fit but these books, there are far too many. I had them scattered in small places left and right, in this home, that house, and this summer home.

It is a collection that is almost as old as time. I have scrolls and papyrus papers and leather-bound books, hand printed bound ones, hand written ones and so on. A home-type library with these three containers changed and fixed up to hold these books should do. I will have to remind those stepping within that a lot of these books are precious though I think it might not be so much of an issue.

Some of these, the absolutely oldest that should only be on display and the newest things that could do with being read can and will be moved into our home proper. The rest will go in with the container-library.

  


Everyone on the planet has something they collect. With some it's buttons, others will collect postcards. I have seen leaves collected between pages of books, marbles and photos of time gone by. It is hardly something to be called a hoarder for. They are well taken care of, I have read them all and usually when they are out of their boxes they are placed in orderly fashion, cleanly on shelves.

I miss being able to run my fingers over their spines, I miss opening a book and breathing in its old book smell. It's just something to remind me that I'm not the only thing or person this old. Of course, as old as I am, there are things that still weren't about when I was younger. I also have a few tablets on hand, the stone kind with inscriptions that have more than likely lost their meaning over time. Some would more than likely give a lot to be able to put their hands on such old artifact but they're mine, they're not really going anywhere.

Quentin likes old books, is what I realized these last holidays when he was given his gifts. I suppose he might be spending some time over here once all construction is done, once all is fixed up and ready. I don't mind, I know that some collections are meant to be shared with some and books are meant to be read, not merely looked at from afar.

  


I did check up on the containers once they arrived and everything was in good shape, covered and protected and padded. The boxes the books are in are still shaped as they should and seem to have not been bumped about at all. I'm glad. Once back home, I pull out the plans for our home, I look them over. I know we could just transform one of the floors into a library of sorts but that would take away some room that we might be able to offer to those in need, those like us trying to get away from a world that might shun them if they knew what they really were.

Instead, I pull out a pad of paper and I set it next to the plan for the warehouse and I scribble a little. Plan making is not something I'm very strong at but I know I can get my point mostly across. I sketch something up quick and slightly messy, with what and how I think these three containers could be set up. I look it over for a moment but I have to shake my head. It doesn't look as good as it could be and I'm wondering if there is going to be enough room for all the books and for people to wander through. I add in two more, setting two on the ground, two above nearly perfectly above but not quite, for design more than anything else and the last one up top, at an angle.

I can imagine that one at the top as being a sort of reading room with the walls all opened up into wide sunny windows. I think with four containers at the bottom, there,s going to be plenty of room for the books on high shelves and on slight desks and tables. If not, well I can always see about adding more containers to the end and just making sure it's all comfortable. Money is hardly an issue at this point, I'm not even worried about that. 

All I can really think about is that I want to settle in. I want to make this my home in a way no home has ever been before. I want what I own to be safe and sound. If I were in any way selfish as I know I am some times, I could merely take all of these books and pull them into the realm. I have a huge library already there, waiting. Most of its shelves are empty but there are books, those from our kind though I have some of these books in the container as well. But I am not selfish, not right now. I think these books deserve to be read and that's why I want to set them up in this way.


	20. Rapid Breakdown

I want to trust them, I do. There is a deeply buried part of me who wants to trust them for all I am worth but I can't. Every time I start to open up to the idea of trust, everything starts to shut down and I remember what happened last time I trusted someone. That someone was like us, 'gifted' as he calls us, a demon as I can only call myself and others. I don't know what kind of demon he was. It doesn't matter at this point, none at all.

What he did to us is terrible and it comes back to the surface with intense clarity every time I try to bring myself to want to trust this small group. Though maybe they're different, they're paired up in someway, they're together. Would they really turn violence and abuse onto someone else? I can't allow that to happen again.

  


He had been kind, he saw me wandering the streets with my two kid brothers with me, they were just ten, still so innocent and wide-eyed. He offered me a roof over my head at no cost, that he was just reaching out a hand for someone in need, that he did this now and again. He even offered me a job at his small boutique. It brought in some money. I paid a bit for the roof he offered us but I mostly saw to buying us food since he said payment wasn't necessary. I should have realized something was wrong.

I was mostly working afternoon and evening shifts, he kept watch over Agni and Mira during that time and I was thankful, more than I could begin to understand, that someone would keep watch while I finally found means of saving up just a little, tiny bit of money so we could maybe be financially stable eventually. I didn't think we'd be staying with this man long, I didn't want to impose though he kept on saying it was alright.

After about a month, I came back to a disaster. I came home to Mira sobbing his little heart out and Agni holding onto him as if the world was ending. He was trying hard to be strong for whatever had just happened and I felt my world crumble a little. Mira is so outgoing that I've never seen anything but a smile on his face. When he falls and scrapes his knees, he blinks at it, rubs the dirt out and gets back up as if nothing had ever happened.

Everything after that moment happened within seconds, when our host came in to the entryway to see what was going on, or so he claimed, Mira started screaming. I didn't really stop to ask any questions. Mira is too friendly to be terrified of anyone this way without any really valid reason. I pulled him to my arms, a bit unused to his weight at his age now, and he went limp. I staggered a little, up the staircase I went, Agni still hanging onto his brother's hand and I was thankful, I didn't want to leave him down there.

I could have just walked out, I could have, but I did have a few change of clothes for myself and the boys up there, it was all I had and I didn't want them to be out on the street with nothing again. I tried to sit Mira on my bed but he wouldn't release me. I asked Agni to take my place for the five minutes it would take me to pack everything up and he did. It took a moment of work but Mira latched onto his brother and just buried his face against his shoulder. He was quiet now. Just barely sniffling but he was clinging.

I gathered all of our things into the bags I have with me, backpacks that make them easy enough to carry despite their ways though we barely have anything so it's not that much. I shoulder everything, look the room over twice and now I know I can't carry Mira in my arms so I take his hand and with Agni's help we manage to get him downstairs. He's limping and my mind went to all the reasons why that could have been, the reasons why he would scream in the man's presence. I could put two and two together and it made me sick.

We were out of that door without much of a struggle. I suppose he might have gone back to wherever he'd been when I first came in and saw the scene. That was fine by me, I didn't want him anywhere near me at that point, he had soiled my brother, maybe he even had touched them both and I couldn't accept that. In a way, it was my fault. I couldn't trust anyone who gave things so easily, it made no sense. No one was that giving, that open.

  


It took six months before we managed to get a single sound out of Mira. He was so quiet, so silent. He wouldn't meet our eyes, would cling to Agni as if it was the only thing that was keeping him safe. After a week he no longer limped but physical healing is hastened, it doesn't have a single sway on emotional and mental healing.

I found us a shelter for battered women and children. I wasn't battered but by kid brother sure had been and they didn't ask us any questions. We stayed there for a couple of weeks before we were moving on and I found another shelter. This was just one of those places that allowed homeless people to have a roof and some food at night. It was better than nothing. I just kept close to my brothers, I protected them for all I was worth.

  


Even to this day I still feel terrible for what happened to Mira. After those six months he started opening up again though he still had nightmares nearly up to a year after it all. Now... well now it's like he's ever forgotten it happened. He's bubbly on most days, his eyes are bright and I've watched over his sleep, he doesn't toss or turn, there's no whimpering or sniffling. It's like it never happened. I don't think that's much possible though maybe he just blocked it all away.

Agni is still overprotective of his brother, I know he hasn't forgotten. I don't know how much he does know of the whole thing. I don't know if he was with his brother or not when whatever happened did but it's still on his mind. I never did ask Mira to tell me about what happened. I thought it would just trigger the memories again and all I ever wanted was for him to get better, for him to move on from the pain and heal up in all ways possible.

I'm a terrible sister, I know this in the bottom of my heart, this cannot be helped. I did not keep them safe, I did not keep them well and protected. This is why I have such a hard time watching them go to spend time with the two who took us in upstairs, or out across the street to go swim in the pool of their friends. It tears at me a little every time though I am trying. I just have a terrible issue with trusting anyone who gives without asking for payment.

Nothing is free.


	21. Silence

Even in my apartment, lately, there is no quiet, no peace. It's not that the walls are thin though I have no worries about hearing couples busying themselves in bed since I live surrounded by old rumour spewing coots. My patience has been wearing thin and I just don't know what to do about it. Never before in my life have things taken this kind of turn. I've always had more patience than I know what to do with, it came from growing up with my disability. From being constantly bullied and picked on.

I suppose there is a limit to how much you can bottle everything up. I've been doing that for years, I have no proper or real 'outlet' for all those emotions I bottle away since I don't know what to do with them. I had just expected to keep on doing that forever and a day more, not to be faced with this. Now I just open my door to slowly head down to get my mail and all I hear it murmured chatter about how we're going to hell because of the demons who own the building and how we're all sinners and we're all going to burn and I don't know, it just gets to me in ways it hadn't in recent months.

Nothing has really changed in my life, there's no new stress, there's no change at work, there's nothing, so I don't understand why I'm so sensitive to the crap these geezers are going on about. All I know about this all is that I have to get away for a while or I might just try to... I don't know. There's nothing for me to do. I'm not desperate and while I don't love my life, I certainly don't hate it and I don't want to end it. I could plug in some headphones into my computer and listen to some music but I still would hear them once I took the headphones off again.

So instead, since this is a long weekend, I gathered some things in a backpack, I found my coat, my crutch and I headed out. It was still cool outside but the true cold was gone, it's a bit warmer. Not warm enough to go anywhere without a good scarf and gloves though. I don't honestly know where I'm going. Recently I offered myself one of these music players, the small portable kind that you can keep in your pocket. So I put on some small ear-buds, plug in the music and I walk.

I can't walk very far very quickly, this is my fate and I've accepted that before. So instead of keeping to the busy streets where I get bumped into too often for my taste, I walk down to that warehouse they're fixing up, I slowly walk along the fence until it clears and I head out into the slightly deeper land, into the bit of almost forest. Nothing is fenced in, I'm aware that this might just be private property but I just want to get away for an hour or five. I have nothing in my bag to warrant a stay overnight but still. I have a blanket, I might just settle somewhere and appreciate the nothing.

  


I walk for a few hours, the terrain is a bit hard to navigate so I know I'm not that far in. If I strain and crane my neck a bit I can still imagine I see the edge of the forest. It helps, I suppose, that I haven't gone out in a straight line. I found a small almost pathway and I've been following that. It goes left and right and almost round about on itself. There are a lot of small obstacles however, so I suppose it's why it's taking me so long to get nowhere at all.

When I start to feel a little tired, I lean on a tree and I dig through my bag. I find my blanket and the mock little cushion I drag around for the comfort of my poor buttocks and I set it down on the side of a large fallen tree. Even if I wanted to I couldn't go further. I can't cross over this tree, not with my leg. I settle down on the cushion and I wrap myself in my blanket. I pull the ear-buds out of my ears, turn my music off and close my eyes.

Silence.

This is what I was trying to get to. I can hear a bird or two chirping about but that's just part of nature and nature is peaceful and usually quiet. I take in a deep breath and let it out. This is what I was really needing. I can feel the wound up spring of something or other that was really tightened to the point of destroying everything start to loosen. I sigh and my shoulders sag. 

It's still a little humid here in the woods but I don't mind, the blanket keeps me nice and warm and the cushion mostly keeps me from feeling the temperature that would have been most uncomfortable if I'd sat directly own on the fallen tree.

  


I don't know how long I spend there, when I open my eyes, I can see the sun drifting somewhat lower on the horizon and I realize I've been out for much longer than I had imagined I would. I ease up, fold my blanket and put both it and the cushion back into my bag. I put my arm back through my crutch and I start on the way back to my world, away from this peace I found. This peace I know won't be mine ever again once this building is completed.

I come to a fork in the pathway and I have to blink, I don't recall having crossed a fork on my way out. I suppose this is one of those reasons I don't usually go much of anywhere, I get lost easily. I look left and right, I can't see much of anything that might mean much of anything to me. I don't know if I should take one fork over the other. I can't even really see my footprints. I put a lot of weight on my crutch, I know I left prints on my way in but it's like I never actually came this way before.

Panic usually is slow to set in and it's slow to set in now. I'm starting to realize, however, that I might have wandered off the absolutely wrong way and that I may as well be stuck in this forest until I die. It might be an overstatement but I have no food, no water beyond a small bottle I keep on hand and there is no one waiting for me. I have no family here in Dunkerque and anyone else who might wonder as to my whereabouts only ever call once or twice a year.

I look around to see if I can't spot anything at all that my jog my memory of my walk in but there is nothing. I fall quiet and I just listen. I hear something crunching slightly in the distance and I freeze. It could be something wild but I have to tell myself that this is unlikely in these parts of the woods. I breathing in, out and I close my eyes.

"Is there anyone here?" I breathing in, out and try to focus. I might as well call out, dying out here on my own is a poor way to go. "I'm lost!"

Not usually a good thing to call out. I fall quiet again and I little a little harder, still the soft, steady crunching of what I'm sure are steps. "Anyone?"

Still silence though after a few minutes I swear I can hear the steps turning slightly and coming towards me.

"Call out again so I know where you're at!" My heart leaps. I really hadn't expected anyone to be anywhere near me so this is wonderful, even if it might be a cold blooded killer. I have to stop reading so many horror books, or thrillers or... yeah.

"I'm right here!"

"Don't move, I'm coming your way." Yeah no, I'm not going anywhere so that's not going to be an issue. I honestly feel a bit of a cramp starting in my leg and that's just when I spend too much time motionless or mostly standing still. Walking isn't too much of an issue.

It's a few more minutes before I can see someone coming my way. They're rather small from the distance at first bu they're slowly coming closer. They spot me and I take the non-spoken and non-visual hint to slowly start my way towards them. My breath catches slightly when I can see my saviour from a bit closer. Tall, almost as tall as the building owner, his eyes are startling and his hair has a strange little streak of colour to it, it's different but it looks good on him. He looks good. I flush lightly at the thought drifting through my mind and I shake my head.

"You must be Armin." I have to blink at him, now I'm baffled and a little uncomfortable. He takes one look at my face and laughs softly, sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm Eoghan, I'm the manager for your apartment building. Lex, the owner, saw you wandering off this way while he was looking through the warehouse to see if things were coming along well and he said he was a little worried that you might get lost, it's easy to get lost in these woods. We try to know who our tenants are, at least a little, it makes it easier to work with them."

I still have to catch my breath. He's handsome, I feel my heart beating a mile a minute. When he looks at me there's no disgust, there's no discomfort, just open warmth. He rests his hand on my shoulder and his eyes crease a little, he's looking concerned now and I realize I still haven't uttered a single thing. I blush deeply and drop my head though it's hard to ignore the warmth of his hand on my shoulder.

"I apologize, I'm just startled. I also apologize, I know this is private property but I had to get some quiet and I could get none in the building." I don't know why I'm telling him all this. He just smiles at me and settles his hand on my back. We slowly start on the way back out. He keeps pace with me and doesn't seem to mind, I'm still feeling the heat of his touch and it reminds me of when I still had my lover with me before he was taken away.

"Most of the older tenants are full of rumours and I know they've been going on and on about us, about Lex and me. I don't mind. If they want to imagine us some sort of monsters, that's up to them. I don't tend to listen much. We're in the process of handing the building back down to someone we trust as is." His voice is calm and smooth, as if he's talking to a trusted friend. I haven't felt this kind of friendly warmth in years.

"And it's alright on the wandering through the woods, I was more worried about you being lost than you being on the property. You don't strike me as the type who might go out of his way to damage anything."

  


When we get out of the woods, I breath a soft sigh of relief and I apologize again. I assume he'll just go on his way and let me walk back to the building on my own but he stays at my side, keeping his hands to himself this time and I feel some regret for the lack of touch. It's silly of me, I'm aware, I can't help it. I'm only human and humans do need some interaction to survive properly.

We walk all the way back into the building and he actually walks me to my door, just to make sure I make it okay, he says. He smiles at me, that warm, inviting smile and I just feel my breath catch slightly. It's so strange to meet with such people. They're so rare in this place. They're just owner and manager of the building, he could have left me to rot out there and it would have been a clean, if book-filled apartment to rent out again, likely for a somewhat higher price.

I'm just glad I'm back. I'm glad I'm alive and I'm glad I met someone in this world who still has some goodness in his heart. If he's a demon of sorts, it sure as hell didn't show.


	22. Take a Chance

It had to happen eventually. I couldn't say no forever and be shunned or something. I had to man up, though I suppose woman up might be better in my case, and face my fears. I had to take a chance and try to get these people better so I could mock-judge their personality, so I could know what I was finally up against.

I'm starting to realize it's not so much that I'm up against anything. My brothers trust these four men easily and while Mira is trusting, since that incident when he was younger, he has approached others but he's never been as open as he is now. I want to believe that this is a good thing but his judgment could be clouded by something or other. It's just one of those things.

So when Eoghan, the tall blonde with the strangely dyed bits of hair and the startling blue eyes (I admit I do so appreciate beautiful people and he is), said it was time for their weekly shared meal and I was invited, I said I would go. Those blue eyes went wide and I felt a bit of pleasure at having startled him. Just moments later he grinned, that pleased, overly happy with one's self sort of grin and he went on his way.

  


That had been some hours ago. Now, bundled up with my two brothers at my side who can't seem to stand still, I'm standing in front of the door they nearly dragged me to and I'm waiting. It clicks open and strange gold eyes briefly look at me, then at my brother and the door slides open a little wide.

I smile a little, uncertain and he returns the smile in much the same manner. Just a few steps away from him, just a little taller is the other one I hadn't met before. Unlike his—what are they, lovers? They might be, I don't know, I guess I have no labels yet—companion, he smiles brightly at me. He seems a little more outgoing.

"Don't just stare, Quentin, close the door, it's still chilly out." He turns his gaze to me again and that smile once again, it warms something in me, I haven't been smiled at this way by a stranger in some times, it's nice. "Don't mind him, he didn't believe Eoghan when he said you'd finally agreed to come and have dinner with us, we're all so pleased! I'm Yael and that of course is Quentin. It's nice to finally be able to meet you, Zora."

He's very friendly. The twins have already wandered off, their coats are in the wardrobe in the foyer and I didn't even notice them getting that done. I smile a little uncertainly and brush some hair behind my ear. He offers to take my coat so I take it off and he hangs it up carefully.

"Come on, I'll show you around our little kitchen. If you see two balls of energy running around, don't be surprised, that'll be Areli and Lavi, we have two Bengals in the house." He sounds pleasant, open and friendly. It's hard to not want to open up to him. I feel myself smiling a little easier.

I open my mouth but I close it moments later. He cants his head at me, asking a question without voicing it and I shrug lightly. I don't feel like I have to apologize for not having come until now. It was and still is my right to refuse invitations in the end and I don't have to tell him or anyone else why I didn't come before.

The door opens and closes again and I hear a voice I hadn't before, welcoming their guest. I have to assume this is Quentin since I have heard both Alexis and Eoghan speak before and neither sound like this. Yael leads me to the kitchen. They have a large table set out, seven actually matching chairs set out and about it. 

I briefly look around, perhaps to try and spot my brothers but I don't see them. I suppose they can't be far. 

"This is a lovely place you've got." I almost groan at my own words. That was pathetic and I know it too well, still, they're spoken, can't take them back.

He chuckles softly and shrugs, just one shoulder lifts and drop. "It's home, we try to keep it open and comfortable, it's how we like it."

He pauses and looks around briefly, perhaps he's looking for something. I'm not sure. Without warning however he takes my hand in his and starts to lead me away. I stiffen, he blinks, looks back at me and offers me a sheepish sort of smile though he doesn't drop his hand. "Old habits. Would you like to see the garden?"

The garden? Well, that is a somewhat unexpected one though I find myself nodding. I haven't seen a garden since we left India, at least the kind of garden I liked to look at, with flowers and some fruit trees and the such. I've seen what these folks call a garden, just a small rectangle of dirt in which roses or other common flowers grow. It's nothing to go gaga over.

His smile grows and he does release my hand, he turns and heads down to the side of the room and towards a hallway. Instead of continuing down, he turns towards the stairs and he heads up. Now I have to admit I'm a little bemused, I've never heard of gardens on second floors though I've seen some on rooftops. I can't imagine if it's up there that it's growing at this time of the year, I didn't see any kind of structure on the roof.

He looks back, I imagine it is to make sure I'm following and he opens first a two-part wooden door, then he opens a screen door and he motions for me to follow. I do but I stop in the doorway, blinking at the sight that greets me. I had expected a lot of things but not this. I just stare though before long I feel his hand on the small of my back, just moving me a little further inside so he can close the screen door.

"Need to keep the cats out. They'd make a mess of this place if we let them in. That's why the screen door is there." I guess that makes sense. I'm not sure all these words are going to stick long in my memory but it hardly matters. The sight, this is just, it's absolutely beautiful. There are more flowers than I can count and so many different kinds. There are some bushes and some small trees, several little pathways that I can see from where I stand.

"We have fruits and vegetables, I don't know if your brothers told you that I drop some off for Alexis and Eoghan on a weekly basis. Flowers, herbs, fruits, vegetables. A little bit of everything, a lot edible, some not. It's my little bit of paradise." "This is beautiful." It's all I can think to say and it seems to be enough for him.

"Come on, let's head back down, I bet they're getting ready to serve the food. I hope you're not too picky though since we were told you were coming, we switched back from doing a Poland themed meal to Indian. We thought that maybe you'd like a little taste of home."

This is thoughtful, I guess, this is kind of sweet really. I have nothing to say on the subject, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around these people, it's not easy.

We wander back down to the dining room and there are my brothers, sitting side by side at the table and Agni stands to pull out a chair. I blink at him, roll my eyes but I have to chuckle as I settle.

  


The dinner is simple but filling, nothing overly extravagant though there are little bits and bites that remind me of home. It almost is enough to make me long for the simpler times, when my whole family hadn't been slaughtered but I try not to think about that too much. I just focus on the food and on the conversation. No one asks personal questions, they just discuss of this and that, the weather, the recent projects. I feel like I could almost get used to this.

My brothers stuff their face and I have to laugh a little. I suppose this is one of those things, they have easier access to food here than they have had before in their lives and I can tell they do appreciate it. It's nice, really.

When they talk and quip in with answers to some of the questions, I realize that they're getting along a lot better than I had expected in both English and French. It's a startling realization.

  


Once the meal is done, down to dessert, the dishes are cleaned up and while I'm not asked to help, I find it just a show of good faith that I help. If it had really been a meal with my old family, everyone would have helped with the clean up and this doesn't feel much different. I ate, I help, it really is that simple.

When everything is cleaned and put away, there are offers for teas and coffees, hot cocoas. I can tell my brothers are honestly worn at this point so I politely decline, we put our coats back on, bid everyone a good evening, thank our host I tell them that I did appreciate the meal and we head back outside to go back across and up to our apartment so these two little mock-devils can have some sleep. They'll rest well, I know.

All in all, it was a good evening.


	23. Stubborn Old Mule

They've been arguing for almost half an hour. Though it's the old woman who is doing all the arguing and the cashier is only trying to do his job. It's a good thing this little store is almost empty, if it had been a bigger convenience store, the stubborn old mule might have already been escorted outside or there would be a lot of displeased customers. As is, the cashier keeps on giving me these little hopeless looks. More than likely just hoping I don't throw a fit and telling me he's doing his best.

Old, senile folks like this shouldn't be out in public really. I'm not saying that old people are senile, just that this one particular woman might just be. She's going on and on about how these spices have never been at this price and that they're always sold at the other price. She keeps on going on about a store I've never heard about and I have to think that in the long run, she's in the wrong store and she probably doesn't even realize it.

The cashier looks ready to throw in his towel too but he's still doing his best. I know that if he sells her those spices at the price she's asking for, he's bound to get in trouble, it's a fair price difference after all. I suppose I could cover it and I figure that if I want to get on with my life and my day, which is getting shorter by the minute as she keeps on yapping, I have to do something about it. Finally I approach the register and I clear my throat. The old lady goes quiet but only to glare at me. I put on the best smile I can find and I straighten. 

"Let me pay for your things, it would be an honour to offer such a kind woman, who more than likely has had her share of life trouble. I would be happy to pay. I don't mind that he's trying to scam you, it's a bad move on his part but I have some extra change to spare."

She gives me a look, that kind of 'you're stupid and you'll never amount to anything' kind of look. She sniffs at me but moves a couple of steps away. The cashier looks troubled, I imagine he's not sure what to make of me at this point but I don't mind. If it gets the old woman out of this place then all the better. She sniffs again, disdain clear as day on her face but I still pay for everything, it's a small fee to pay to get rid of her. Her things are bagged, put in her little rolling grocery tote and she goes on her way.

I wait until she's well out of the story to shake my head and laugh softly. 

"I'm sorry about that, I know she was just arguing and arguing and I know you know your prices and the rest, I just wanted to get her out of here."

The cashier offers me a slightly uncertain smile still and I shake my head again. 

"No harm done, the old hag is out of here and we can go on in our lives."

Still he doesn't look convinced and I suppose there's no helping that. I put my things on the counter and he scans everything. I excuse myself briefly, head back into the aisles and I come back up with an extra, a gift card. They don't have a lot of choices but they do have a few brand names. It comes from being such a small, hole in the wall place. I don't mind, I always find what I need.

He scans the card, I pay for my things and when he hands me the card back, I just smile at him and give him the card back. "For your troubles. I hope you don't get many customers like that because they can be absolute day ruiners."

He blinks, stares at me as if I'd grown a second head and I can only snicker. I take my bags and I head for the door. 

"Thank you!" He calls out just moments before I step outside and I know I've probably done the right thing. I can only imagine she still would have been at it a while from now if I hadn't done something about it. I feel terrible for anyone who has to deal with her today, she seems to be out on a rampage, really.

  


When I step back up to the apartment, Lex is half sprawled on our couch and he blinks at me. He looks up at the time, then back at me. He quirks one brow and I shrug.

"You wouldn't believe the trouble I've had to just get these spices you needed for your commission work. As is, why did I have to be the one to get them when it's your for your work?" He shrugs and grins at me, clearly amused. I roll my eyes at him, drop my bag carefully on the kitchen counter since the spice containers are glass and I walk back to the living room, grab one of our decorative pillows and playfully fling it at him.

He laughs and catches it. He stands, walks to me and presses his lips to my forehead. I feel something melt just a little bit inside of me. Some of the tension from the crazy old woman, I bet.

"There was this old lady, I stayed back and listened to her arguing with the cashier about our her spices were always at a lower price, that he was trying to rob her blind. She kept on mentioning some other store I've never heard about and I have to assume she was in the wrong place. To finally shut her up, I just paid for everything and watched her walk out, giving me dirty looks all along, it really was sad."

I have no issues with older folks, I just believe that some of them should be kept inside where they're not going to terrorize everyone they encounter. It really is that simple and I know I can't honestly do anything about it unless I own an old folks' home and that's never going to happen. Bad enough I have to deal with the folks here in this building and all of their rumours.

"I'm worried about Armin." He hugs me and I have to shake my head. I don't know why I'm thinking about that all of a sudden. I suppose I can only imagine him having to deal with those old folks still after we're gone and I feel just bad for the guy. He's nice from what I learned about him when I walked him back in his apartment, surely there could be something we could do but I just don't see what.

"One day, then the other. When we're ready to move into the warehouse, I'm sure the rumours will ease up as is, so don't worry so much."

"And if they don't?" He quirks a brow and shrugs. I suppose he's right, one day, then the other. We can't honestly just try to save the whole world, not that we are but at times I feel like some of the humans out there aren't so bad.


	24. Eyes of Blue

I could honestly drown in them, if I gave myself a chance. If I just stopped everything and took a slow look, focusing on nothing but them, I would drown utterly and absolutely and I think I wouldn't care at all. I suppose that makes me mushy, I can't help it. His eyes are so deeply blue. Their colour changes slightly depending on his mood. I've only seen him angry a handful of times, they get so dark they're almost black. When he's at peace they're closer to the sky than the ocean. I still could drown in them.

The first visual memory I could keep on hand of him was a painting. It wasn't very accurate, honestly. He was still young then and adapting to the world that surrounded him. Whenever I looked at it I kept on telling myself that it wasn't accurate, that it wasn't really him. It hung in my study at the time.

After that, it came to be the first photo. It was in black and white and I couldn't really notice his eyes. When colour photography came out, I didn't really rush to get photos taken. We did eventually take some together in one of those photo boxes, or booths I suppose that are found in malls. He kept two, I kept two. I don't know if he still has his, he might. I still have mine.

  


"Lex?" He sounds a little worried, I blink and my vision clears a little, I guess I was off daydreaming. It's not something I do often but it does happen. Though now that I turn my gaze to him he looks a little miff. That pout of his is absolutely adorable despite that I know it means I'm in trouble, never for long though.

I reach out, brush the tip of my fingers over the back of his hand and the pout goes, replaced by a slightly uncertain sort of smile. It really is that easy, not that I abuse this effect I have on him, I'm not that kind of person.

"I'm sorry, I guess I was daydreaming. I was looking at your eyes and I was struck speechless and my mind decided to take a hike down memory lane to remind me of how much I know I could drown in them." He blushes, a deep, dark sort of colour and he ducks his head, mumbling something I can't make out. 

I chuckle softly and take his hand in mine, tugging lightly to get him to look at me. He does raise his head but he's pouting again. This time it's one of those 'you must absolutely enjoy making me blush or something' kind of pout. I bring his fingers to my lips, kiss the back of them.

"I can't help it. You bring that out in me, Eoghan. We both know I'm never like that with anyone else."

He sticks his tongue out and I chuckle. I release his hand so we both can get up and move from the table where were had been looking at the plans for the warehouse. It's coming along well. The outer walls have been replaced and fixed up, now they're slowly finishing up the set up of the inner walls to create the rooms as they're meant to be.

The moment we're away from the table, I slip my hand to his once more, I link our fingers and he blinks, a little surprised. I know I'm usually more much subtle about things but there are days where I just want to touch him. I smile at him, that easy, loving smile I only have for him and I walk us towards the couch.

Without releasing his hand, I settle us on the couch. I ease down, shift to sit on its length, legs settled and I tug him towards me. First though he reaches to drag the leg-rest a little closer and he settles on my lap as if it was the simplest of things in the world and he sets his legs on the leg-rest. It honestly is that easy when it concerns us.

Some people might think that after a lifetime, you're bound to grow weary and maybe even bored of the person you're with. But if it really is a case of deeply present and profound love, I'd like to think you can go on forever loving the same person. At first I didn't know what to think of him, he confused me, he was young and childish but there was something to him and after a couple of decades knowing him, I started to see him as more than just a still growing child.

Now that he's against me, I briefly release his hand to gather the tie-dye blanket we keep on the back of the couch and I set it out just so. Covering both of us in part. I thought the thing was hideous when Quentin first gave it to us but it's not so bad now, I don't mind it quite as much in the end. It looks nice, the tie-dye effect isn't eye-burning hideous.

He nestles his head up against my shoulder, shifting until he's partly pressed against my throat. I close my eyes and seek his hand again, simply curling my fingers over his own.

There really are days when all I want is to touch him this way. Sure, we spend a lot of time in bed doing things that have nothing to do with sleep but we're not just rabbits, we can be affectionate this way without needing to have sex. It's just a really nice bonus.

We don't even really talk. We just settle together and appreciate the closeness we share. The fact that after all of this time, this still is all we need to really feel at peace together. I've known some couples who thought they were absolutely in love together but even just after a few years together they had to go to crazy lengths just to get that kind of peace together I still have with Eoghan when all I'm doing is holding him against me, feeling his heartbeat along mine.

  


When I open my eyes again, I can tell that a few hours have passed. None of us have budged though I can feel my legs are somewhat asleep. It's not much of an issue. I shift just barely, enough to free the arm I had wrapped about his waist and I reach up to run my fingers through his hair. He mumbles lightly, huffs just slightly at being woken but I chuckle, tip his head back and kiss his lips softly.

He blinks, sleep in those ever gorgeous blue eyes and I simply offer him one of those smiles, those private sort of smiles only he ever gets to see.

"I don't know about you, but I think we might be good to have some food, don't you think? I'd love some dessert but a filling meal first might be more important." His eyes darken at the implied meaning to my words and I can't help but kiss him again. A slow, sweet sort of kiss that leaves us both rather wanting to skip right to the dessert but we know better. We don't eat much but food still is a necessity to keep going.

We untangle, stretch and allow feelings to work their ways back to limbs. This really is just the kind of day I like. A few hours of peace, doing nothing but enjoy his presence against me. I couldn't have asked for more.


	25. Picking Oneself Up

The rink is nearly empty at this hour and I have to be glad. Though maybe Alexis paid the owner to let us have peace for a few hours. I've never skated before. I never had a chance. My brothers haven't either and by the looks of things I think the only two who ever have been on skates before are Alexis and Eoghan. They're almost flawless in the way they move.

I don't know why I accepted this invitation. I suppose that last shared dinner had some good. So far they've all been very nice though Quentin still seems a bit unwilling to really talk to me. I can't blame him, I'm not all that comfortable talking to any of them yet either.

He and Yael are wobbly on their skates but Yael seems to have a certain natural grace to his motions. He looks to be a fast learner. They haven't really fallen yet though they're clinging to one another, slowly moving together and easing along. I haven't left the edge of the rink, I know I'll fall flat on my face if I try at all. Agni and Mira though, they're a lot more adventurous. They were almost dancing all the way to the rink when they were told we were going skating. They've been craving the chance to learn new things and they learn quickly.

There goes Mira hitting the ice again though he only laughs and he waves his brother's wobbly attempt at help away. He looks down to his skates, he cants his head, almost as if studying them and he slowly shifts and pulls himself back to his feet. Still wobbly but he intent on not asking for help. He and Agni both are now side by side, slowly trying to get the hang of keeping up and then moving forward or back, it seems. Any time one of them falls, they make it clear they're picking themselves back up again all on their own. It's good to be independent.

  


"Want some help?"

I blink, I look away from my brothers who already are steadier than they were a few moments ago, steadier than Quentin and Yael. Eoghan cants his head, smiles at me and I blink again, a soft little frown touching my lips. I can't help it. I guess I really should try to release the wall, I have really good balance usually but I don't feel much grace in anything currently.

"I don't trust you." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. He doesn't look surprised, he merely still smiles at me lightly and keeps his ground. He shrugs.

"I honestly want to. I just can't, not yet. Not openly the way my brothers seem to. They've likely forgotten what happened last time but I haven't."

Again he shrugs lightly but doesn't move. He shakes his head lightly. "I'm not forcing anyone to trust me, Zora. I'm just trying to help someone who, like me, has been judged, cast out and hunted down. I'm not going to try and force myself on you or your brothers. Lex would have my balls on a platter and I don't want anyone but him anyway."

I suppose that puts me somewhat at ease but not really enough to warrant trusting him openly yet. That might never really happen though I'm trying my best.

Sighing, I look down to his offered hands and I look back out to the rink where the other five are managing well enough for a first time. I lightly slip my hand into his and he curls his fingers lightly. He pushes back and I have to follow. I feel less than steady but his presence keeps me focused.

I push with one feet, sliding with the other and repeat the motion on the other side. It's not so hard really. It's like nothing I've done before but it's not as hard as I thought it might be. He smiles down at me again, simple slowly skating back, holding my hands and keeping me on my feet. I guess I might be a little thankful.

Eventually, he releases both my hands but he keeps in front of me. I push myself with one foot, then the next and I find myself steady enough. I can't help the smile that finds its way to my lips. This might actually be fun!

He chuckles, moves further back, giving me more room and while I don't try to move to catch back up to him, I keep upright and steady, my motions aren't perfectly smooth but they're good enough to keep my going.

I watch him dip in a slight bow and he moves away since I manage well enough on my own. I guess he's going back to Alexis's side. That's fine by me.

  


I do fall a few minutes after I've been left on my own. I'm a little stunned, I'd just been trying to move a little further away from the wall. I see a shadow partly fall across mine and I look up to Mira and Agni both stopped just a pace away, looking but waiting. I did teach them to be independent best as they could though some things require help always. I smile at them but shake my head and they go back on their way.

I calculate the distance to the wall, wondering if I might scoot over there to pull myself back up but I shake my head. It's childish to want to always use the wall to pull myself back up. I shift my weight, try to find my center of gravity and slowly I ease back first to a crouch. I make sure I'm balanced before I ease back up to my feet and there. I'm standing again.

I know that if I fall I can always get back up. At times I'll need help but most of the times I'd like to believe I can do so on my own. I don't much like the idea of depending on others unless I absolutely can't help it. Like this roof over my head situation. I could find a job but that would require leaving the twins alone. Then again, they're old enough and they can keep themselves occupied, I could. I'd then have an income, I could find us an apartment. Find us a real place to stay at.

I guess that I should accept help at times, it's hard to go anywhere in life when absolutely alone. It doesn't really get anyone very far, I know, I've been doing this long enough on my own, struggling along to know better. Trust is just an issue and without trust, it's hard to accept anyone's help at all. I'll just have to try harder.

  


I don't know how long we spend on the ice but when we're out on the benches, changing back from skates to boots, I can feel my muscles aching in protest over all the exercise we've just done. It was good exercise but I'm pretty sure all of us will be aching for a while.

We all gather up in the minivan, my siblings and I in the back row since we can all sit together, Quentin and Yael in the middle, Alexis and Eoghan up front. It was Eoghan who drove us here earlier on but this time it's Alexis behind the wheel. The drive home is quiet, the twins nestled together and I know they'll sleep well. They're not used to a lot of exercise yet, I guess this is means of slowly building up to a regular kind of lifestyle.

One day following the other. It's all I can ask for.


	26. An Artist

"Why art your not here?"

He's getting better every day. Just a little bit every day. I though about buying them that language learning program they sell but then I had to tell myself that might just be a bit foolish, they don't have a computer. Still, the time they spend with us is time they learn. We've all bought them books in the languages we all speak, lower-school grade books but everyone has to start somewhere.

I look back up to the beautiful painting hanging on the wall, I briefly glance about to the rest of the hanging paintings and I smile down at him faintly. "I love drawing and painting, but I don't think my art is good enough to be here."

He gives me a puzzled look and I muss his two-toned hair gently. He laughs softly and latches onto my arm lightly. It's just us three today. Quentin was somewhat feverish when he woke up so I just gave him a couple more blankets, easily made hot tea and wrapped up. This trip to the museum had been planned for a couple of days and the twins had been looking forward to it since it had been mentioned, I couldn't back out. I didn't want to disappoint them.

"I draw well, but these artist draw better." I guess it's the simplest way to put that kind of thing. I do consider myself an artist, I know that I could probably have art up in galleries if I really wanted to, hell I could ask Alexis and he'd make it a reality but I don't really feel like this is something I should do. There's too much I want to do with my life to really 'settle' for being around when my art goes up in galleries. It's too public for me at this point in my life. 

Maybe when I'll have had to leave this life behind and slip into a new one the way Alexis does. Maybe then I'll see about trying to get my old paintings out and seen by the public. I'd claim it to be the work of my unknown father or something. I have a world of time to get to that point, so I'm not really in any rush.

I lead the boys to the next painting. I motion to the small plaque next to it. Agni reads it slowly, one word after the other and I gently correct the way he pronounces his words. I have them read the plaques in turn, so they each discover new words. They look at the huge painting, perhaps trying to understand it. I see it from an artist's perspective, I guess. I wonder what was going through the painter's mind when in the painting process, what was the goal of the painting and so on. They just are curious to understand what they're seeing.

  


We spend a few hours wandering from one wall to the next. On our way out of the museum we decide, as one, that we deserve a snack. We find a small little food place on the way to the bus stop and we each just get a light snack. I admit I really like watching these two discover the world. Discover new foods and new things. It's a wonderful way to look at life in general. They're so innocent in their own way.

Once we're done with our food, we head towards the bus stop and merely wait with the others already there. We get on when it stops and I lead the twins towards the halfway point, there's a three-seater against the wall and I settle there. I feel almost like their protector. Zora made it rather clear that she wasn't all that comfortable with the idea of my taking the twins out to the museum on my own but that they were absolutely looking forward to it so she let me take them. I want to keep them safe, I can't help it.

They chatter slightly together, a mix of French, English and Hindi, it's mostly Hindi but I can catch bits and pieces of the other two languages they try to throw in. It's good practice.

I could have us dropped off at the usual stop which is just two streets away from home but there is the matter of getting some food back. I promised Quentin I'd bring in a few things just the same for his fever. We get off a couple of stops earlier and I walk us to the little shop I often go into. It has little bits of everything that's not on this place, it's why I like it so much.

I let the twins browse, knowing they might touch a little but nothing to the point of breaking and I go about locating those few spices I need, a few slight cuts of meat and some vegetables I don't have growing up in the garden yet. I head back to the counter, pay for my things and bag them before heading towards the door. Once there I merely stop and wait. I figure that once they notice where I'm at, they'll come.

It only takes them a couple of minutes before they spot me and head back in my direction. We step outside again and start on the way home. The weather is much warmer now. Still not warm enough to go around without a comfortable coat and a light scarf though. I have to assume that this is why Quentin is feverish to begin with. He spent time outside yesterday without a jacket on. I don't know what he was thinking.

  


Once at their building, I walk the twins up to their apartment. I want to make sure their sister knows I didn't just abandon them and they somehow made their way back home on their own. 

She seems rather glad they're back. She nods just slightly, a curt sort of thing and I smile before turning back to head down and across the street to my sleeping lover. When he's sick in any way, not that it has happened often but it has a couple of times. he tends to sleep through most of it. Still I figure it doesn't hurt to pamper him at least a little while I can. 

We're good for one another, is what I want to believe in.

I let myself in, put the food away, check in on him briefly. He's sleeping for the time being so I let him. I'll prepare him a spicy tea later on to get him to sweat the rest of his fever out.

I walk towards my studio, I guess being asked why my art wasn't in museums gets you thinking. I just lean against the doorway, looking at the scattered paintings. The one with the scented oils, the ones without, the ones that are just sketches at this point. I suppose I could be famous if I wanted. My paintings maybe could be sold for gazillion dollars. What would I do with it all? What would I have to do to escape the fame that most likely would come with it all?

No, really. I'd rather let at least a lifetime pass before I let the public in on the painting I do now. It will just be so much simpler. I'm a simple sort of person. I don't like things to be too complicated. An artist I may be, but one who prefers to keep to himself.


	27. Listen to the Song

He's swaying lightly, it's nearly an invisible sort of motion. His eyes are closed and I'm not sure I can understand why he's sort of swaying like this until he turns just lightly, barely. Then I notice the ear-buds in his ears. I've been alive long enough, I've lived through most of the discovery of music all over the world. I suppose I prefer working in silence when I can help it but at times I know some songs will have that kind of slow, swaying effect on me too.

For a while I just watch him. He almost looks like he's in a trance though I know better than that about him, still, it's strange. Not in a bad way, just a new sort of discovery way. Every day I discover something new about him, something different. At times it's baffling, others it's absolutely endearing. I don't know what I would qualify this one as just yet.

  


"Do you want to listen to it?" After a while I'd gone back to covering a few more of the details for the warehouse. They're almost done with the walls, the plumbing and the electricity; the heat and the rest too. In a week or so, we'll be able to head out across and start painting or moving in furniture or just about anything. It'll be such a big step. The basic things are up, the water connections, the bathrooms are up, at least the sinks and the tubs, the showers. The same goes for the kitchen appliances, the rest we've left out for us to be able to do ourselves.

I blink up at him, a little startled. I don't know how long he spent listening to whatever it was he was listening to, just slightly, slowly swaying to whatever beat it might have. He doesn't usually share music with me, we have somewhat differing tastes, mostly that I prefer no music at all and he'll listen to a little bit of everything but rap music, with a few slight rare exceptions.

He holds out the ear-buds and I look at them for a moment. I've never liked the thought of putting these things in my ears, just the thought makes me somewhat comfortable and it must show on my face, plus he knows this. He laughs softly and shakes his head. He puts the player on the table and disappears off into our bedroom. Moments later he comes back with a pair of over-the-ear headphones. I have those in case I need absolute silence. I've never honestly used them for music but they do have a noise cancelling feature, it's what I had bought them in the first place.

He unplugs his ear-buds, plugs in the headphones and hands the whole thing over to me. He almost looks like a child who just discovered something really big and is trying to share it with an unwilling adult. The thought makes me chuckle wryly but I take the player and headphones. I slip those on, look at the player and press play. I lower the volume almost to nothing, just to be sure and I slowly turn it back up after a few moments.

I close my eyes and I focus. I hear no music, just distant calls of sorts, almost a song but not a human one. I turn the volume up a little bit and the sounds come to focus a bit easier. I've heard these before, I just have a bit of a hard time recalling where exactly. This is surprisingly relaxing though, these strange, almost echoing calls from I'm not sure where.

I open my eyes and look down at the player, I laugh softly and shake my head before closing my eyes again. Whale songs. That's what's written on the player right now. I suppose I can admit to being a little surprised. This is relaxing in ways I hadn't expected. I knew humans had recorded whales calling out and talking to one another, I wasn't all that aware that they'd made 'songs' out of them, however. It's a pleasant sort of surprise. I guess not all music is bad, though I don't consider it bad, just not really worth listening to, most of the time.

  


He looks quite pleased with himself and I get a chuckle out of that look. I love all his little facets, all those little looks he has, those tiny little quirks that make him who he is. At this point, he mostly has that cat has discovered its fresh bowl of cream filled to the brim look. This cat absolutely loves its cream. 

It's not to say that I will make a habit of listening to these whale songs or that I could fall asleep to them but they are an interesting alternative to absolutely and utter silence when I work on commissions that require a lot of attention to detail. Maybe now and again I might plug the music in to try to get me to relax a bit. I get tense easily when I work on those minuscule details and I get painful shoulder, arm and hand cramps then.

He's put the player, ear-buds and headphones away. We've both settled back around the plan and set up for the floors of the warehouse. We've picked out colours and flooring and just about everything that is required to make the place more than just a home with walls, a half-done kitchen and bathroom.

We do actually have a team set up to come in the moment the other leave so they can start to get the floors done. It's a big enough team, they should be able to get their works done quickly enough, that means that before long after that we'll be able to get in and start painting. I'm sure Yael and Quentin might be willing to help us with that. Who knows, maybe Zora and the twins can be tempted in to helping us. I bet the twins would love to make a mess around with paint. I don't mind if they do that in whatever room they'll call their own though the rest might need to be done with a bit more care.

Thinking about all of this, that I'll be living in a home of our absolute own, that I'll be with him in a finally permanent way, it actually makes me giddy. It's a strange word to use when it comes to my own mind but it's fitting. I have no other terms as far as being with him is concerned. It makes me feel so peaceful, so right. I just want to spend the rest of eternity with him. I'm done running away when I start to feel like I need to leave. I'll work this out as it comes and I know we'll find a solution.


	28. Simple Thoughts

"Breathe in, hold it inside, then slowly breath out. Let all your worries and uncertainties flow out and away from you. Feel lighter, more at peace. Now stretch-"

"What are you watching?" I nearly laugh though I still just focus on the voice on the television. Its words are corny but the slow flow of the voice helps in finding a relaxed sort of state of mind. Not that I'm stressed but I found this channel and I thought it might not hurt to give this relaxation thing a try. He sounds baffled, confused really and it does amuse me more than it should.

"I'm not so much watching as I'm listening. I thought I'd give this relaxation thing a try. For a while I wanted to think nothing but simple, short, mindless thoughts and just relax. Let it all flow out of me." 

I finally open just one eye to look at him. He still doesn't look convinced and I can't help the grin that curls at my lips. "I'm not really listening to the words, just the voice itself. Come on, sit down and try."

He huffs slightly and considers what I'm essentially asking of him. It's not much and I know he wasn't doing anything else. Grumbling, mostly for show, I know, he sits down in front of me. I take his hands in mine and I feel a bit of tension ebb out of him. That's a good start.

"Now just close your eyes, try to think of nothing at all. Don't focus on the words, just listen to the tone, to the voice itself. If nothing else, focus on our hands, how they're nestled in mine and how that makes you feel." Touch is a big thing with us. Touching helps us relax, it pulls us along a road of peace. Never, when we've touched before, have I honestly felt stressed in any real way. It's like there's a connection between us and all we can feel is peace.

He sighs again but he closes his eyes and I feel his fingers curl slightly into mine. Good. I listen to him breathing in and out for a moment before I close my eye and I let my mind drift off to nothing again. I honestly barely even hear the voice from the television, I just hear a bit of a rise in the tone when it speaks and a drop when it goes again. My mind is empty. I am floating and at peace.

  


I'm not sure how much time we spend there, just sitting together, hands held carefully and just lightly, barely. When I open my eyes, I notice that his shoulders are a lot less tense, his posture is relaxed and I smile. It's a small sort of smile but it's there and I blink slowly, just willing myself to be relaxed and at peace. This is such a good sensation. 

I squeeze his fingers gently and he opens his eyes. At first he looks a little confused, I guess I might have pulled him from whatever little floating world he had drifted off to, but then his focus settles and he smiles. It's a slow, relaxed sort of smile and I chuckle lightly. I don't know that we will do this on a daily basis but I think that it might honestly not hurt. It feels good to think of nothing, to not focus on anything at all. It feels right.

Slowly I ease up to my feet, I feel my back crack as I do and I know that this is just one of several good things that came from just relaxing and doing nothing for a while. That and well, I know I need to stretch a bit more often. I cramp up when I draw for too long periods of times.

As I stand, he follows suit, we haven't let go of one another's hands, after all. He cants his head, almost thoughtful and turns his gaze towards the television. I guess whatever we were watching has ended because now all we're getting is some slow, relaxing type of music. It's not such a bad thing. This is another channel to add to our list of channels-we-can-watch. We're picky and spend most of our time with one of the classical or nature radio station playing instead.

  


The rest of the day is spent in peaceful, relaxed sort of silence. When we prepare the meal all we really hear is the soft clink of the dishes together, the sound of the fire crackling slightly as we prepare everything. The click of utensils in plates and bowls. 

It's not a bad kind of silence, it's just a peaceful type. None of us seem to really have anything to say at this point and I have no true complaints. There is no harm to spending days in quiet. At times it's honestly a good sort of thing.

When we're done eating, he takes my hand and we head up to the garden, the second floor and then up to the mezzanine on the third floor. He settles on the couch there and I nestle against him. We've long since gone past the hour of the sun setting but spending time up here is always wonderful. Despite the city lights, though they're a little dimmer here since we're nowhere near the center of the city itself, we can see stars pop out in the sky, like tiny little lights coming on in distant galaxies.

I can't help but imagine that this is all we are to anyone out there who might be alive in other galaxies. A distant sort of star in their sky, nothing but a tiny, minuscule speck of nothing at all. It makes you think when you really stop to ponder that briefly. We're tiny beings, not even grains of sands in this huge world. It makes me feel so small at times.

He moves to curl one arm about my waist and I shift accordingly, I move to merely settle against him, half sitting on him as it is. It's a comfortable position, he makes me feel warm and alive and I just want to huddle and stay against him until the rest of the day fades away.

Since the twins have more or less made it a habit to drop by here at least once a week, twice most of the time, we've slowly adapted our schedule again. We've become day folks for the most part. Though we usually are up around mid-morning and we're up until much later in the night. It's nothing close to how we were before, getting up in the evenings and staying awake all night. Not to say we might not head back to that lifestyle once they're all moved in next door and have more to keep themselves occupied with, how schedule is always shifting and changing.

I find some peace in that. Routine isn't something I honestly want to settle into, it's not my kind of thing. I would rather have my life be different for every day I wake up to if I can help it. That way it's more interesting.


	29. Rebellion

"I can you tell I am more than glad I do not live there currently. All these fires, these explosions. I can understand that the people are unhappy but this is insane, there are so many lives lost. Don't they see that they're losing more people this way?" He still wears his heart on his sleeve, there's not much I can do about that. He doesn't have this kind of discussion with Quentin because he'd just shrug and utter something about how humans are foolish and doomed anyway. I can understand that trail of thought but poor Yael looks so torn. This is why they don't usually watch the news but at times it does happen.

I reach out, touch the top of his hand with my fingers but the misery that's printed everywhere and so clearly on his face remains. I guess this one is in a little deep. There's not much I can do about it, I just have to talk him through humans and their habits. I know that demons might do the same if they were in similar situations.

"A lot of people are foolish. As a group, they just want to be heard, they'll go to great lengths to make that happen, even if they lose a lot of theirs along the way. It's their nature. I think it might just be our nature too, if we were in their place. I don't think it's just human in nature, is what I'm saying. When you put a lot of people together, a lot of angry people together, this tends to happen."

He shakes his head and pulls his hand away from mine. He curls his arms about himself and I know that if he could he'd probably try to curl in his chair. Poor guy, he's really too sensitive and sweet for this world. "Yael, we can't save the world. It's people who think they can save the world who end up losing everything and I don't want that for you. Pretty sure Quentin wouldn't either."

This gets a bit of a reaction out of him, he breathes a sharp, somewhat startling bit of a laugh. I blink at him before shaking my head. I guess we both were thinking about the guy but for different reasons.

"Quentin would say that they're foolish and they should just do whatever it is they're doing and stop broadcasting about it." His words are muttered, he shakes his head and hugs himself a little tighter. I have to keep myself from crossing to his side and just hugging him to bits. I want to, really, but I don't think he'd want me to.

"Quentin has issues with a lot of people, there's not much we can do about that." I pause briefly to study him. "Did you two have a fight?"

He looks startled, his eyes wide, moist but not so much wet. He shakes his head and offers me a weak, almost tired sort of smile. "No, we even had a quiet evening up on the mezzanine two nights ago, just looking at whatever stars we could find as they popped up."

Well that's good at least, still he doesn't look convinced, I don't push, I know better than to push. It never brings out good reactions. He breathes in deeply and rubs his eyes. He looks tired, maybe he just hasn't slept well. He gets nightmares easily from what I've gathered, things like these rebellion images could set them off.

"I'm just tired. I wish I wasn't so weak, I keep on having nightmares over the stupidest of things." There we go. It's not a happy thought to have mostly guessed it but I know I wasn't off, it's a little comforting.

This time I do get up on my feet, I round up the table and crouch next to him. I set my hands just lightly on his knees, apply the calmest of smiles I ever have managed and I simply look up to him.

"Here's an idea, why don't you have a nap in our bedroom? It's special, cuts out everything from the world, even for us demons." He doesn't look convinced, I don't blame him. It's hard to imagine everything being shut off.

"It's your bed, I can't sleep in it."

Well there's that too. I chuckle just softly and he frowns at me. "Yael, it's not even ten in the morning yet. Even if somehow you end up sleeping a lot longer than you might expect, Lex and me, we can go a while without rest. Plus, it's just for a while, we'll wake you after a few hours. I'll even call Quentin to make sure he knows you're still here, alright?"

Still he doesn't look convinced but he rubs his eyes and looks up to Lex as steps out of Adela's room and into the kitchen.

"I just offered Yael a nightmare free sleep in our bedroom for a few hours, that okay?" Well it's safer to ask.

Lex simply smiles warmly and nods. I knew he wouldn't have any issues with the idea of letting Yael have some rest. If it does me wonders, it will do him wonder.

"Care to take him there and help him settle while I call Quentin to make sure he knows what's going on?"

  


"It feels strange to be in your bed." He's settled, comfortable and even tucked in. Lex is in the living room with a book and I figured I'd make sure Yael was comfortable.

"Well it's a bed and it won't bite you. Bet you feel your head a little less stuffed right now, it's one of the effects of the room. It's especially useful for me but it tends to keep most nightmares away. Quentin knows you're here and he said that in a few hours he'd come by to walk you back across. I know it's not necessary but he said he wanted to make sure you were alright. He worries to no end about you, it's absolutely sweet."

He blushes lightly and shrugs. Finally he shifts, moves to roll over to his side and I tug the sheets back over his shoulder lightly. I turn off the lights, walk back out of the room and close the door. The room does work best when it is closed from all sides after all. I just hope he'll manage to get some rest, he looked a tiny little bit zombie-like and that's never a good way to go about anyone's day.

  


A few hours later, when Quentin knocks on the door, I let him in, tell him a bit more about the situation. I don't really see the need to bring up the part of the conversation that concerned him since it was about his little quirks that make it hard to discuss certain things with him. I do tell him about the nightmares and their source. He looks a little surprised but not that much, so I guess he has noticed that most anything that has to do with death or extreme violence has a bad sort of sway on Yael. 

We can't keep him away from that kind of thing forever. It doesn't really do to shelter someone to the point that it would be like them living under a rock. It's no way to go about life. We just have to try to keep his nightmares to a minimum.

Quentin is the one who heads into our bedroom to rouse his lover. I leave them be, it's not really my place currently. They come back out together after a few moments, Yael rubbing his eyes but looking a little more rested. This is comforting a thought.

"If you guys wanted, I could ward one of your bedrooms the way I have ours, it would help with the nightmares." I have to blink at Lex a moment. This isn't something I've ever heard him offer before. I suppose I'm even more surprised because I only learned about our room being warded when my headaches were getting so bad I thought I was going to lose it. This man is still absolutely full of surprises and I learn new things about him every single day.

Yael actually nods somewhat as they gather their coats and bundle up slightly. I'm sure they'll think about it. I don't know how long it might take to ward the room and make sure it's properly done but I'm sure it wouldn't be too long and wouldn't take their bedroom away from them for longer than necessary.

I walk them back down to the lobby, watching them step outside and across to their building. Once I no longer see them from my spot, I wander back upstairs with a sigh. What a strange day, really.


	30. Candy Apple Red

"This colour again, really?" Both Alexis and Eoghan look a little surprised by Quentin's question. They'd been all looking over the little paint palettes that had been selected and brought back to check just what kind of colours they were picking to put on the walls to which room.

"I am so not touching this paint. You guys can do all the painting if you want." There he goes, almost stalking off with a huff and I can't help but laugh a little, I shake my head and take a moment to breathe in and out else I know I'll just laugh again at how silly all of this is.

"When we were painting last time, when I moved in with him, we had this exactly colour picked. He started applying it on the walls and it turned out to be this ugly orange, burnt like colour. I applied it over, after him and it came out the way it should have. I don't think Quentin should touch paint honestly. I guess, maybe, he thought there would also be something else beyond paint to do."

Alexis's lips quirk just slightly and I know he's trying to keep himself from snickering. This is a bit of a silly situation now that we can think back on this. The colour as a whole is gorgeous, there's no saying otherwise but Quentin doing the paint up with it just asking for terrible results.

Eoghan blinks, looks down to the paper palettes in his hands and blinks a second time. "No one asked anyone to paint yet, we're just taping those to the walls so we know which colour goes where…"

I can't blame him for being slightly baffled over Quentin's reaction, it is a little out there but I guess it marked him in some way, that the paint he was trying to apply didn't turn out to be right, whereas when I did, it was just fine. Makes me wonder what other colours could be different in our house if I had done all the painting. 

Then again, all the colours are fine as they are now, I wouldn't change them for anything in the world.

"Let's just keep going, he'll come back around, if not he'll be home, huffing, waiting for me to get back to huff and pout a little more about it. I don't mind. This candy apple red is a gorgeous colour and if you decorate just so, which Quentin would happily do in a heartbeat, your room will just absolutely pop."

  


We walk through all three floors, looking through rooms, checking the plans to know where exactly we were and what colour was wanted where. Eoghan even has little sketches of how he imagines the layout of certain rooms to be done once the furniture is in, it's adorable really. When I moved in with Quentin, all the rooms were done up except my own bedroom and my studio, so I don't know how he went about all his setting up. I can't imagine him scribbling down on a piece of paper how he wanted things. It's just not like him.

At the top, on the room, we look through the glassless structure that will soon be the mock-greenhouse, mock-solarium. It's big, I can see where the pool will be. It'll be even bigger than ours. Then again they have the room whereas we only selected one room and settled for a slight pool. Still it's more than enough for us. This is just going to be huge, honestly.

No sign of Quentin until we head back down to the bottom floor, where he's standing near the palette we'd taped to the wall, with that one colour that just doesn't agree with his painting skills. He looks a little torn and I know that apologizing is difficult for him though he tries his best.

When he spies us, he stiffens a little and I shake my head. I walk to his side, settle my arm through his and he manages a small smile for me. This is a little better.

"It's all right, really. I know you didn't think to really wander off as you did. I told them about the painting issue and they know it's all right. When we get back home, I have a little idea for us to try, I think you might appreciate it and it will teach both of us something important, I think."

He shrugs and sighs. Alexis and Eoghan approach us, both smiling as if nothing at all had happened. 

"So next week all the floors will be completed, we'll be able to set tarps everywhere, the paint will be coming in and we'll be getting that process started. We might honestly hire a team to help us along. It's a lot of painting to do and it might just take us forever if we do it on our own or even with the help of our future residents. I honestly don't know that I trust them with a paintbrush yet anyway." 

I laugh softly again and shake my head. I squeeze Quentin's arm gently and I see his lips curl slightly into the ghost of a smile. 

"This place is going to be wonderful for the all of you. It's going to be so peaceful that you won't honestly know what to do with yourselves once you're all settled in, I bet." That had almost been the case for me after I'd moved in with Quentin. I hadn't had to struggle to survive, find food or shelter. I hadn't known what to do with myself for a while, it took some adapting.

  


We head back to our respective homes for the time being and when we're inside, coats put away and boots off, I walk Quentin towards my studio. I set up two easels, two canvas and set up paint on two palettes. Exactly the same colour in the same spot on both. I hand Quentin one of the palettes, one brush and walk him through just painting simple shapes, or even just lines if that was what he wanted, in each colour. Then lower on the canvas, he can mix up if he wants.

I'll do the same on my end, we'll leave them be when we're done and when they're dry we'll look them over. I'll compare colours together and see just which colours he seems to affect more than others. See if it really is just the red from last time of if it's every colour there is. I figure it's a good sort of exercise, it gets us to a point where we know where things will differ.

He doesn't look willing to do it, seems to think it might be a waste of time but it's my paint and we have all the time in the world, I tell him as much. I know he just doesn't want to waste time or paint but I think it's a good exercise and it gets him trying something new, something he's never really given a shot at before. Who knows, he might just develop a liking for art in this form. I wouldn't mind sharing my supplies with him, if that were the case.


	31. Chatter

I wish they would just stop. I wish they wouldn't utter a single word anymore. Nowhere is safe, nowhere is quiet and I don't know what to do about it. I hear them chatter constantly in my head, as if someone had somehow opened a door and now everyone could get in and out as they want.

At times I tell myself I should head back into the woods where it was quiet, where it was peaceful but I know my chances are I will only get lost again and it is unlikely that I will be found a second time.

The chatter is bad once I'm in the apartment, as if the walls had grown absolutely paper thin and every word or thought was thrown at me, flung into my face. 

A small part of me seems to believe I might be getting sick, that somehow I may have developed schizophrenia. I have to tell myself this is unlikely, I would have shown signs much earlier than this. The only way I have found to keep the voices out lately is by heading up to the roof. It's a difficult task, made even more difficult by the fact that I need both hands to open up the heavy door that leads to the top and that's just not an easy task for me.

It only helps a little. I can hear the quieting chatter for a few moments, half an hour at most before I'm bombarded by everything again. I don't understand what's going on. I haven't spoken to my psychiatrist about this. When I lost my lover, I lost a little bit of myself and I started seeing someone, I thought I wasn't doing well, I thought my whole world had collapsed and that I was going to collapse with it. I was on medication for a while but I've gotten better.

I don't want to go back there and end up being drugged out of my mind again, even worse is that if I go there and somehow this is the onset of schizophrenia, I don't want to end up locked up somewhere. I know it can be treated with pills and whatnot but I just don't want to be on pills anymore.

  


I struggle with the door to the roof for a moment, fearing it might have been locked, just wanting to get away from the constant voices that I hear even when I cover my ears and I can't. I panic briefly, wanting out up there and I struggle a bit more. I almost fall backwards and down the slim staircase when the door does open slowly and there, of course, my last time saviour, Eoghan, the manager. He blinks at me and then he smiles. I manage the ghost of a smile in return but the pain from all the voices must show on my face, he frowns and steps out of the way, letting me manage my way up to the roof.

He keeps his distance for a while, just watching me from a distance as I struggle to draw breath. In and out, slowing down eventually as the chatter eases to a low murmur and I can focus on my own thoughts for a few moments. I feel like crying, I don't know what's wrong with me and I'm terrified.

Finally he's at me side, he looks down at me with those eyes, those bright eyes that don't judge me. They're just filled with some curiosity, some concern and I can't understand that one. He touches my shoulder and suddenly it's silent. Even the murmurs are gone. My eyes widen and the tears spill. It's beyond my control that I almost stumble forward and I just latch onto him. He looks surprised, he stiffens even briefly for a moment before he rests both arms lightly about me. I just cry, it's quiet, silent. It hasn't been that way since—well since I went out to the forest and met him, actually.

He doesn't release me. He actually lifts me off my feet and I cry out a little, startled. He only moves back to that single chair that somehow has always been on the roof and he settles down to it. It's void of snow, the white stuff has been steadily melting away to nothing at this point. My cheeks burn in embarrassment but I still stay where he settles me, on his lap. My mind is quiet, it's all I want.

He does move away slightly, just leaning back so he can look into my eyes and I feel shame wash over me. What he must think of me right now, a grown man, clinging to a stranger and crying for absolutely no reason. I do have my reasons but they are unknown to him, after all.

I was expecting to see some disgust in his eyes at this point but he's only smiling lightly at me, studying me. He cants his head, looks off to the horizon before he looks back down to me. 

"How about you tell me what this is all about before I decide that you just have quite the crush on me and you've been dreaming of hugging me to pieces this way?" His voice is light, there is a hint of playfulness and it calms me. Though the words hit something and I blush deeply. That hardly is the case, he's handsome but I'm more than aware that even if I did somehow fancy him, I would not stand a single chance.

I take a deep breath, slowly in, then out and I close my eyes with a sigh. I enjoy the silence for a heartbeat more before I open my mouth to reply. "I've been hearing voices. Even if I put my hands over my ears I hear voices and they don't stop. I'm not crazy, I swear I'm not. This is the only place where it dies down to a murmur. In my apartment it's like the walls have gone paper thin, I can hear everything. When I'm in the library it's a little quieter usually because it's not very busy but I don't know what to do and I can never focus on my own thoughts and when you touched me it just went quiet so I thought—I just—I'm sorry."

I had all the reasons in the world to apologize, I felt like I'd just somehow latched onto this still mostly stranger for no reason at all, at least to him those would be no reason at all and that's just not how a grown man acts.

He only smiles at me, there is a bit of a worried crease to his smile and that baffles me. He doesn't look at me like I'm crazy, he seems to actually believe me.

"I see, I think I might have something to help you with that. Let's go back down, first to my apartment and then back to yours to make sure it works, all right?"

I want to believe him, it's not hard to, by simply touching him, everything went quiet. I can't stay latched onto him forever, even if that might be an interesting idea.

He brushes his hand briefly over my temple and I feel a sort of weight settle onto my mind, as if someone has decided to put a heavy blanket on me. I release him reluctantly and the voices do come back though they're murmurs still, whisper soft. I know they're going to get louder as we get back downstairs and I'm not looking forward to it.

We walk back towards the door and he pulls it open with a slight grunt. I'm glad to notice that it's heavy for everyone and not just me, it makes my struggles to get it open a little less shame inducing.

I head down first, slowly since this is as dangerous as getting the door open, for me, and he follows suit. We take the elevator down to his floor and he walks me towards what I assume is his apartment. The voices are still quiet and I'm a little baffled, maybe it's his presence.

He opens the door and lets me in. It's a quiet, comfortable place. It's warm.

"Alexis, brought in Armin for a moment. I think I need one of your special bracelets." He calls the words out and I blink. Special bracelet, that's a strange one. That and I'm so used to being called about by my last name that his use of my first name only makes something flutter warmly in me. What makes that flutter stronger and more heated however is the sight of Alexis, the owner whom I had only seen briefly twice, wandering out of a room beyond a hallway in nothing but pants. The sight is something I might never forget.

He gives Eoghan this sort of look, it's a look I can't decipher but it doesn't look like he's out to believe I'm insane. He walks closer and holds up a simple bracelet. It's black with some engravings I've never seen both on the inside and outside. He looks it over briefly, as if to make sure of something or other and he hands it over to Eoghan who smiles and turns to me.

"Let's have your wrist. I'd like to ask you to not take it off until I tell you to, all right? I think it will help with the voices."

From the corner of my eye I can see the slightly startled look on Alexis's face but I let it be. Whatever this is, it is between them. If this bracelet can somehow keep the chatter out then I won't complain. I hold up my crutch-free arm but he shakes his head and moves to actually set the bracelet about my crutch arm. I look down at it a moment.

"What about when I need to shower?"

He smiles at me as he carefully turns me around back to the door and out. "It can go in the water, even pool water. So don't worry about it. Please just don't take it off."

I nod and we head back towards the elevator. The voices are still down to murmurs. It's not utter silence but it's much better than the constant chatter that has been with me since I got lost. Once in the elevator to head back to my floor, again he touches my temple briefly. I blink but I don't question. The weight that had been on my mind seems to lift but the voices still remain quiet. I don't understand it but I'm not about to ask. I just want some quiet.

He walks me back to my door and I know the look on my face screams that I don't want him to leave me alone. He only smiles warmly at me and brushes some hair from my face. The motion is almost brotherly. My breath catches and I close my eyes again to keep myself from crying. It's been so long that anyone has touched me at all in any way, this makes me long badly for something and someone I no longer have.

"Go on."

I open my door, step inside and I turn to look at him one last time. He walks away and I wait for the voices to come back but they don't. Still nothing but murmur and I know I can handle that. I watch him disappear down the hallway and into the elevator and still it's quiet.

I'm not taking this bracelet off for anything in the world.


End file.
